Waiting to get out of this bloody hell

How much would you give for a 'normal' life?

2012-01-21T13:24:00.001+01:00

5 years into this crappy disease, I often wonder what it would be like to be 'normal' like everyone else again. But what is normal anyway and is it all really only a facade? People put on such false faces all the time and why, just to look better in front of other people or pretend they have more than they really have. What a lot of wasted effort. UC unfortunately teaches us all about humility. I don't even know how many little 'accidents' I have had in the last few years, but each time it happens in public I deal with it and clean myself up and deal with the pity others show for me. How humiliating but with it comes inner strength.So maybe I'm richer for my own type of 'normal' life but no, I wouldn't wish it anyone else.

Update on life :D

2012-01-17T14:00:00.001+01:00

As I sit here typing I have the unfortunate pleasure of listening to Duff-Duff music from a teenagers party next door on a working week night close to 11pm !! My brain is saying "Shut the F@$! Up your little shits as I need to be up at 6am, but my heart says let them have fun...they are young..their parents (one an ex MP) are away and it's summer holiday time here....come 1am though my head will be telling me to just call the police the get them to be quiet if it's still going!!

Oh good god..we've now switch to Dexy's Midnight Runners and "Come on Eileen"..well at least the DUFF DUFF has gone.

I had my GI appointment yesterday and still no mention of the dreaded Colonoscopy procedure...so I'm sorry...but I'm not asking for that procedure ... she'll have to tell me it's time! 'Chicken' - I know, 'Get it over and done with' - I know, 'See how everything is hanging in there' - it hasn't been! It's angry and inflamed.

I did however tell the GI the facts as things stand right now and we're making a few med changes just to see what happens over the next 5 weeks. I can still work though and I'm getting through the days without too many 'OMG...run!'

Life isn't that bad really....it could be worse I could be a spotty teenager going through all that hormonal stuff again!

Happy New Year to all that read it.

........ and just in case your the same age as me and have had the memories of your teenage years brought back by the thoughts of Dexy...here's the link to the tune :D - Dexy's Midnight Runner - Come on Eileen

but here are links to some of my favourite songs from the 1980's and the good old days :D

Visage - Fade to Grey
Icehouse - Hey Little Girl
Ultravox - Vienna
The Human League - Don't You Want Me - I grew a rat's tail because of them too!!!! :D
The Boomtown Rats - I Don't Like Mondays

there's plenty more...but you go find your own :D .... ah...the 80's ....when boys wore makeup and had perms and nobody thought that was strange .... I loved the 80's!!!

On the edge

2011-11-14T12:06:00.001+01:00

You know when your on the precipice ...and you really don't want to fall over it...well that's me and my UC on my 6 months anniversary of using Imuran. I was actually hoping I would be symptom free by now, but maybe that just me asking for the world again.

So here's the state of affairs after 6 months on Imuran

Months 1 to3 - slowly the tables started to take affect and I was able to get off the pred after 2 long years being on it and loosing half my hair
Months 4 and 5 - looked like things were on the up...no symptoms
Month 6 - Some bleeding, occasional urgency - bugger...was hoping that all had gone

The good news is that it's not gotten any worse as I would have expected by now, so I'm hoping the meds are sort-off holding it in check and it's my current stress levels and lack of sleep causing me to slightly digress.

So what to do now...we'll I'm going to do a version of the SCD diet again to see if 2 things will happen. The first being a get rid of the blood and the second is to loose some weight. Now that I've been better gut wise, that means weight gain and with Christmas and summer just around the corner, I need to loose some weight within the next 6 weeks or I'm going to be disappointed with my self and my lack of discipline chocolate and chip wise!

I've got an appointment with my GI on Wednesday and I'm really hoping she'll not bring up the dreaded colonoscopy just yet...but I know it's coming soon...it's only a matter of time now. I know I shouldn't put it off and yes, she really does need to have a look there soon...but please just don't ask me to do it just yet as I've already decided I can't say no and offer up a lame excuse.

Hope you guys are all hanging in there and life isn't too bad. If we can't beat the bugger, let's not let it pull us down!

FINALLY!!!!

2011-08-28T14:13:00.002+02:00

Yep, it's been a while since I posted, but with work and the kids and coming home, it's been busy busy busy.

What a few months! Landed a great job in a great team. Kids doing well back in school. House back to nearly normal. Just UC to deal with.

On the UC side of things, I can't believe it. I think I'm finally back into remission after a long 2 years on Pred. My saviour (with some side affects) is Imuran. I'll risk the side affects if my life is back to semi normal. You still get the odd "OMG toilet run" moment, but that for me seems to be down to eating food that does not agree with me...a bit of IBS I think.

I was reflecting with my husband my UC life and he reminded me of the time just before UC when I went through a very angry period. Looking back I wonder if this was part of the UC. Did something change chemically in my body with kicked off a chain of events that lead to UC 2 years later? There were various UC initial symptoms from about a year before the big UC attack.

Anyway, if any of you can remember a very angry period in your life before the onset of UC, please can you let me know. I'm going to talk to my GI next week about this to see if she has heard it from anyone else who had an initial angry stage before UC onset.

We all go through so many stages with UC. I'm just happy I made it back to this stage no matter how long it lasts! I need this time just to feel semi normal again and no matter what happens next I know I can cope!

A day off work and hitting hippy country :D

2011-07-08T15:19:00.006+02:00

Hi all - I'm back to reality with a bump, but life is good in Brisbane. Got a job fairly quickly (too quickly for my liking really!!!) and normality reigns again.

Winter here is brilliant with average day time temps of 20C. For most 'Brits' here it's the best time of the year. Lovely clear blue skies and dry.

So today we took a drive to Byron Beach as I have 2 days off work and the kids are on holiday. Saw no whales heading north to the warmer waters, but great day out. Played pétanque (french boules) on the beach and took a trip up to the light-house.

Byron Beach is the most easterly point of Australia. The longboarders arrived there in the 1960s. This was the beginning of Byron Bay as a tourist destination, and by 1973, when the Aquarius Festival was held in Nimbin, its reputation as a hippy, happy, alternative town was established. It still has some of that charm, but as with everything, the 'rich' folks have also discovered it and things have moved on from being laid back to a more commercial. Still a nice place to visit though.

UC wise I'm now on Imuran. Yep there's side effects and it can take 3-6 months to fully work. I'm 2 months in and seeing some improvement, but we'll wait and see if remission is achieved once the preds are stopped for good in a few week. Tried to get off them 2 weeks back and ended up in a bit of trouble so I restarted them and I'm not down to 10mg a day.

I'll post again within the next 2 months as by then I should know if this latest drug is working. Fingers crossed again.

Nicotine gum - a possible lead to remission?

2011-05-08T13:04:00.015+02:00

So I used to be a smoker way back in 2000 and quit to start trying for a baby. Quitting was relatively easy for me as I fell pregnant very quickly, so restarting smoking was not an option.

I wasn't what you'd call a heavy smoker, but would have between 5 - 10, 1mg cigarettes a day with 10 being a night on the town fuelled with beer and champagne. (Oh for those days pre kids and a mortgage...oops I digress)

All up I'd say it really took me about 7 years to really get over the addition. Often when people smoked I'd want one, but I never allowed myself to give me, so me starting nicorette gum to try to get my UC into remission comes as a bit of a surprise and was not a decision I took lightly.

I actually read a couple of articles last year about the possible benefits of nicotine and Ulcerative Colitis, but the thought of restarting smoking was not something I was willing to consider.

The nicotine thing sat in the back burner of my mind until this week, when after a "little accident" on my first week back to work, the sudden idea of giving nicorette gum a go came to me.

So on Friday 6th May, I started my trial with just 1 piece of 4mg gum. From then, my daily dosage will then be 2 x 4mg nicotine gum (once about 1 hr after breakfast and once in the afternoon) for the next 3 weeks. After that I'm not sure. I do intend to reduce the mg as I do release this can not be used for ongoing maintenance without varies other side affects kicking in.

The scary thing is that this might actually work. In just over 2 days I have seen a change, but be warned I have seen changes before with other things I have tried, only to see them fail within a week. This one I am a bit more confident about, but we'll see....I'm for ever the optimistic pessimist.

I'm not advocating anyone use nicorette gum to see if they can get their UC under control, I just want to share what I am doing. It may or may not help me in the longer time to gain remission, but I have to give it a go just in case. I'll keep you posted. In the meantime, please read the health warning below as you need to be aware of possible side effects if you do decide to try it.

If anyone has tried this approach whether successful or not, please let me know.

P.S. Just rejoined the workforce this week after a 2 year sabbatical....now that was a hard week. Oh to win the lottery!

How do I use NICORETTE^®Gum?

As per - http://www.nicorette.com.au/product-range/gum/

NICORETTE® Gum is not an ordinary gum so you should not chew it constantly. To make sure you get the most from your NICORETTE® Gum, use the NICORETTE®chewing technique.

Health effects of nicotine

As per Wiki - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nicotine_gum

Nicotine is a vasoconstrictor; it constricts arteries, making it harder for the heart to pump blood through the body. Repeated nicotine exposure contributes to accelerated coronary artery disease, acute cardiac ischemic events, andhypertension Additionally, studies have shown that nicotine exposure contributes to stroke, peptic ulcer disease, and oesophageal reflux. Further, nicotine may cause wounds to heal more slowly and may be associated with reproductive toxicity. Moreover, nicotine can cause the body to release its stores of fat and cholesterol into the blood.

Nicotine replacement therapies, such as nicotine gum, that were used for long periods of time may be associated with an increased risk of contracting oral cancer among people who have a specific gene mutation in their mouth, according to a study done at University of London.

Muscle control

Two unpleasant symptoms which affect some new users, and existing users who make excessive use of nicotine gum, are hiccups and a perceived constriction of the throat muscles, as accidental swallowing of saliva containing high amounts of nicotine may cause irritation.

Gum disease

Prolonged nicotine chewing gum use may also cause gum disease. Nicotine constricts blood vessels, including those of the gums, which has led to speculation that long-term use of nicotine gum may contribute to risk for gum disease. However, one clinical study has found no connection between 15 weeks of nicotine gum use and oral health.

I'm home

2011-04-18T08:28:00.006+02:00

Well, it's been a long 2 years. I've had my ups and I've had my downs in France, especially trying to deal with Ulcerative Colitis, but I've survived and now I'm back home in Australia.

So medicine wise I'm down to 15mg Pred. I'm trying to get it down as low as possible with loosing bowel control. There's still bleeding, not a lot, just a tiny bit. This time around I never really got totally rid of the bleeding, except when I was on 50mg. I'm not keen to go up that high for a while at least anyway.

I've been back in Oz for 2 weeks now, so I'm hoping that the stress of the move and everything else will start to lesson as life get back to normal. This in turn I hope will make my bowel start to behave a bit better. Time will tell. Fingers crossed (again!!!).

It's funny, being back home. It's like 2 years in France never happened. You know when you come back from holiday, sometimes it hard to believe that you were ever away...like a dream...very strange. I never thought that 2 years overseas would feel like that. I also can't believe that it went by that fast.

Don't hold your breath though if you think that now I'm home I'll stop whinging about UC. If anything I might get worse as I know the doctors and specialist know exactly what I'm saying :D

OMG!!! ...now hair loss

2011-03-30T09:44:00.007+02:00

So this is something that I have just noticed...you may remember form previous posts that way back on Sept 09 when I went for my first French haircut, that she basically cut my hair a lot shorter than I'm used to an since then I have been trying to grow my hair back to the longer length it was. For the past 18 months though my hair has been really dry and I put that down to the climate here. Because of that I got it regularly trimmed and keep it in a short bob up until December 2010 when I decided it was time to grown it longer again in readiness for going home where it often in a ponytail due to the heat and humidity in summer.

Well, imagine my surprise a few weeks ago when I tried to put it into a ponytail and finally realised that I have probably lost over 1/3 of my hair. I always had loads of the stuff, to the point were I used to ask the hairdresser to thin it out. I have no idea exactly when this started happening and have only just come across an article last night which seems to suggest predisolne is the cause. Didn't know of that little side effect!!

I restarted Pred again last December, but that also coincided with a trip to the hairdressers that wrecked a heap of hair due to over processing, so I didn't make the connection with predisolne until now. It's been over 3 months and the hair I had expected to grow back hasn't.

So a little research last night lead me to discover this...some people lost about 1/3 of their hair over the course of 6 weeks while tapering down on pred. When their hair grew back, it grew back curly instead of straight and the texture was different.

OMG!!!

Well, I'm tapering down...although I severely doubt I'll get off Pred as I'm bleeding already at 30mg and have been since I tried to drop to 40mg. Once I get back to Australia I have an appointment with my GI, but that isn't until 10th May. A long wait time. Oh well, what can you do?

Another thing I've read is that in general medicines can affect hair loss. Maybe it is Pred, maybe it's not, but I'm missing a heap of hair!!! .... hopefully it will grow back soon...we're leaving here on Friday, so hopefully by 7.30pm on Saturday night, I'll be about to arrive back on home soil :D ....maybe I'll even get back into remission after 2 years of hell...well a girl can dream :D

Ever started an e-mail with "Bullshit"?

2011-03-18T16:43:00.006+01:00

Ever started an e-mail with "Bullshit"? ... well I hadn't until the other day:D

So here's what happened.... I put an onine order in for 5 magnet fridge magnets...just 12cm x 4cm..plastic..not heavy...you get the gist? They came to a total of $34.75 (USA dollars) and along with that I paid an additional $12 (USA dollars) for postage to France. That's a fair enough postal cost I reckon. I paid for this on a debit card and only put enough money onto the account to cover costs. I do payments this way when I haven't done business before with overseas companies I'm ordering from. Previously I've had to cancel credit cards as funds have been deducted without my approval and for me this is the easiest way to handle it now.

So here's the e-mail I got 2 weeks after I put in my order...

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Dear Paula,
Thank you for your order. It is ready to ship, but because of the size and weight, the cost to ship your order is $40.00 through Fed Ex or $35.54 through USPS. You have paid $12.00. Please let me know how you would like us to ship your order and if the additional amount is okay to add to your credit card.
Thanks,

Sommer Brant
Customer Service

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HHMMMMMM...well that wasn't the actual words I thought ....and here's my reply

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

To: Sales
Subject: RE: New Order # 5200002165

BULLSHIT!
No I am not willing to pay extra when you advertise that for my cost of order the shipping cost is $12.00. Please explain how you think you have the right to charge me more! I have a copy of your website shipping costs advertising the price. Refund my money immediately as this is false advertising before I take further action!!

Paula

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

In the mean time, I'd contacted my debit card company and asked them what I could do in situations like this and if there was any way of getting my money back, to which they replied yes and started the process for me. I did however get a reply back from the company, with an apology, but realistically, the damage was done.

As you can see from the e-mail below, they were able to reduce the size of the packaging. But the point is why couldn't they have done that in the beginning and saved all this hassle. Why would I pay more for postage than the actual cost of the contents?

I cancelled the order and got all my money back, including all bank charges.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
From: Dawn
Subject: New Order # 5200002165

Paula,
I apologize that you were contacted about paying more money for shipping. You are correct, our website does not say anything about charging more money for shipping. All shipping costs are based on the size and weight of the box. I took your package back to our shipping department and asked them to re-package it in a smaller box so it would be less expensive to ship. We were able to reduce it to about half the size of the original box. If you’d like to continue with your order at no additional shipping charge please let me know and we will ship it today via USPS otherwise we will cancel and refund your order.

Warm Regards,
Dawn
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Oh well, all's well that ends well and the debit card is the way to go.

What a month

2011-03-18T16:20:00.004+01:00

Nearly time to go home :D - I'm so excited :D - 1 car and 1 house gone, just one more car to go next week. In less than 15 days I'll be back home in my own house in my own little suburb and life might get back to "normal" again. Well, as "normal" is to me :D

Like I said before (many, many times)...life in France has had a few downs, but there has been ups along the way. If only I hadn't have had UC to deal with...but heck...life might have been a bit boring then and I might never have gotten to appreciate certain things in life.

Do you ever wonder why were were given this crappy disease to cope with? Sometimes I reckon it's to make me a better person, but bloody hell, was I really that bad a person to begin with? Jez, I'd never want to inflict this disease on anyone, no matter how much I hated them! Hate isn't probably the right term...but you know what I mean!

But, without the UC, I would never have agreed to come to France ... without the UC, I would never have met some of the lovely people that I had ... without the UC, I would never have gotten to learn to drive like this mental French people in Provence, without the UC, I would never have learn't to curse in another language and without the UC, I would never have had such much fun there in the 'good' months. So yeah, I have a lot to be grateful to UC for. I still want rid of this damn disease though!! Can someone please "beam me down" a cure please!!

Spare a thought for someone else

2011-03-16T23:54:00.003+01:00

I've been thinking all this week about all those poor people in Japan. My life is absolute bliss compared to the hell some of those people are going through right now.

The sad thing is that they have years of this ahead of them to deal those. All those villages along the coasts just wiped out and thousands of people died. How do the ones left recover from this?

So spare a thought for everyone worse off than you...because even with our crappy disease...we're a hell of a lot better off.

How do you know when it's time

2011-03-03T12:17:00.003+01:00

How do you know when it's time to go get the op?

So I asked my neighbour this question last month and the answer was, "You just know". Well, I don't know.

How much pain do I need to be in? Should I wait until the doctor tells me its time? Should I wait for the first signs of cancer?

I'm hoping that I never have to have this operation, but reality is that I will at some stage. I want the miracle!! I don't want the op.

I was reading a story the other day about Freddie Mercury and it stated that is only Freddie could have survived another year, the advances in medicine and especially in the treatment of HIV and AIDS could have saved him.

I know UC is not on the same level as Aids, but I keep hoping that if I can survive with colon intact for a bit longer, then the medical world might actually have the break through that we need.

2 years on

2011-01-16T19:40:00.004+01:00

I've learnt a lot about myself in 2 years ... some of which I'll never admit to publicly neither, but at least I know. I never was able to relax here in France ... too many things where against me ... but heck I did have fun when I was on the preds.

As long as I'm safe in my house in the flare-ups times then friends were always welcome to come over. We head home for a quick "sort the house out" trip in 2 weeks and life is certainly on the up. I got a doctor here to give me all the meds I wanted. Believe me I was truly surprised...I must of had that look on my face that scares the crap out of people when I get forceful. Doctors 0 - Paula 1 on this occasion :D ...

I only came out of remission when this whole trip started..so maybe stress is my trigger...let's see how I'm going come April when I'm home for good.

2 years is along time away from home...especially my home town of Brisbane...it got a bit wet last week, but in true Aussie spirit, Queenslanders don't stay down for long ... I wish I was at home to help out all those poor families though...so much loss and destruction.

Next time you are feeling down, just think to yourself, I'm still here and kicking and can do something about it.

Good News

2010-12-27T15:57:00.003+01:00

Ah, maybe I will get lucky as today I had the best news and I got a working Apple Mac Pro back :D and I also got a new Ipad for Christmas as my husband felt bad for me the the really old laptop I was using.

It could be a sign that things are turning a corner for me. I'm into signs...always looking for them..good or bad :D

Christmas Day night saw a very bad case of UC..it was so awful I had forgotten the pain and the toilet running. I as up for hours. But thanks to my stash of preds, everything is again staying put and we'll see what the first real 'movement' is like maybe by tomorrow :D.

Can't say what kicked it off but it could be prawns, a tiny bit of champagne, a mince pie or some chocolate ice-cream. I had so many different things that I don't normally have now, that's it hard to tell for definite.

So I have discovered a couple of new things...I blame myself for everything that goes wrong, even if I don't cause it directly myself. So I'm going to try and work on that one. I realised today that I've been punishing myself since Oct over the broken Mac, maybe if I hadn't have done that, but I did, so there you go.

So what next for me for 2011..... well, try to be more positive and get this UC under control and get back to Oz and get a job :D

Merry Christmas

2010-12-23T19:18:00.007+01:00

Tis the season to be jolly, / Fa la la la la, la la la la.

I don't feel very jolly though ... I'm scared … actually I'm petrified. I can’t get this horrible feeling to lift. I used to be the sort of person that loved life, now I feel like a shadow of that person. I’m scared to have the UC operation done and be left with a bag. I’m scared what I’ll look like. I’m scared about having accidents. My whole life seems to be one big scare that revolves around UC. I seem to have lost the will to live. Don’t worry I’m not suicidal just yet, though reading this will appear that I am. I promise I’m not going to do anything to myself … not with 2 little kids in tow. I’m making everyone’s life a misery though and I know it. How can I stop myself though feeling such self pity. I seem to have lost all of my confidence and life.

This all came about again when recently someone who I thought was my friends totally dropped me and another friend, and we have no idea what we. We’re at a lose, but it really pisses me off that people do that. I put a lot of effort into getting to know people and trying to fit in, but when stuff like this happens I feel like I’ve been kicked in the guts and the wind is totally blown out of me. Why are people like this? I really do find it hard to trust people and it takes me such a long time to recover from these situations. So how do I get over this and move on … forgive and forget … yikes not me … I can hold a grudge for years. I think my problem is that I feel let down. But doesn’t everyone feel like that? So why is it worse for me. My personality I guess and all the stuff I was born with. I really have to catch a grip and wise up.

Someone, please kick me up the arse and tell me to wise up. I should be feeling grateful. I’m going home in Feb for good … back to Australia and speaking English and hopefully someone listening to my theories and plies for help. I should be grateful for my 2 beautiful kids, but sometimes they do my head in with their ungratefulness. Maybe I’m just being ungrateful about the lot of life I was given. But heck, I’m still in a position to change anything I want.

So here’s what I’m going to say to me right now….”Wise up Paula, what the heck are you doing … live life and stop bloody well complaining. Your 43 and your body is not the bee all and end all. If you have to get a stoma, you have to get a stoma, at least you’ll be able to live a life. Make the most of what you have and stop all this self pity. “

Merry Christmas everyone … stay safe … have fun :D … enjoy the life you were given

Still hanging in there :D

2010-12-05T19:00:00.003+01:00

Hi ya, yep, I'm still here and still in a flare up and still bitching and moaning about my UC and the fact that I can't get into remission. Seriously....why can't I get into remission?

I've tried everything I can think of and sometimes I think I'm on the right road only to get bumped right back to earth again. How frustrating is this disease?

So I have a stash of preds ready and by my reckoning I can start taking them again in just over a week. There's just enough then to get me back to Australia in February where I can get some more and also have a good old chat with my doctor. Nope I tried that over here with the French doctors and basically I got kicked out the door with a prescription for 5mg Pred a day when required. Get real, but I cashed in the prescription of 30 5mg tablets anyway and added it to my next stash! It buys me an extra 3 days @ 50mg per day if needed to get the blood stopped.

So what's new with me? Well I finally got to see a Naturopath and she's got me on a few new things so we'll see how they go. If anything does seem to be working for more than a few days, then I'll document it in my next blog...no point in giving false hope. I also had a bit of a scare with my 8 year old last month as he was getting heaps of stomach pains, so of course I conclude that he has what I have. To be honest I can see him as a candidate so I'm doing my best not to let him get what I have. I'm teaching him how to handle stress now...I'm teaching him how to deal with bullies and I'm really trying to teach him of how to deal with his insecurities as I really don't want him to be like me! Turns out the poor kid got hit with quite a few viruses along with getting stressed at school, but now I know what's going on in his head, I can try and help him.

Our time in France is nearly over and although a really do breath a really big high sigh of relief, I have enjoyed living here when I’ve been on the preds and symptom free, but I will be happy to go home and speak English all the time. Living in a foreign land is hard without being fluent in their language, but I have tried and can almost crack some jokes in French, though my form of humor may be different from many others :D

that will teach me to speak too soon :(

2010-10-01T13:55:00.006+02:00

So I spoke too soon...and I'm all over the place again...no bowel control, though I have to say, it's not as bad as it was last year. So what the heck do I do now. The preds aren't working and I'm at a lose. I'm going ot taper the preds out over the next 4 weeks and to see exactly how bad this is ... if anyone has got any better ideas, please let me know.

And I've found another thing to try...heck...why not...so now I'm on a daily dose of cabbage or cabbage juice ... yep, I was suprised at the one too. Google it's benefits if you don't believe. One week into it, so who knows...I'll give it a few months and see if there are any benefits and let you know.

Is it really working?

2010-08-31T19:42:00.003+02:00

It's just about the end of summer and the kids will be going back to school soon...yeah says I!!! Its actually easier to go to work somedays than have to listen to kids fight and bicker some days....kids can be very frustrating some times.

Anyway, I'm down to 15mgs of Pred and its going well this time. I haven't been this low without loads of mucus and blood sightings in 2 years!!!

All I'm doing different this time is trying not to stress out along with taking magnesium, zinc, Vit B and a good probiotic. Is that my cure...who knows.

The SCD diet left me feeling really low, but in 10 weeks I've bounced back to a high that a haven't seen in years...and no it's not been caused by the pred.

I don't know if eating less refined sugar and fat is also helping as all the doctors say that food isn't the cause. My jury is still out on that as I really think it's a combination of what is happening in my mind and what I'm putting into my body.

Lets see what happens in the next few weeks .... please keep the blood and mucus away .... please let my body heal after a nightmare 18 months ......

Maybe it's working this time

2010-08-01T21:48:00.003+02:00

So as I said last time, I'm back on the pred, but the difference is that this time it might actually be working as I'm able to drop 5mg each week and so far it's a hell of a lot better than last time where I still had blood and mucus to deal with every now and again.

What's different this time....easy, I'm not stressed at all. I'm enjoying summer and chilling out...I don't have to go anywhere I don't want to go and this year I have my first ever sun tan in 14 years!! I don't sunbathe in Australia as we just get burnt to pieces and last year I couldn't get my head around the fact that the UV index was only at 7....in Oz it can get to 15!!

So this summer I've read loads of books, went sight seeing and swimming, but all in all I'm much less stressed...maybe that is the key...who knows...time will tell. It's a bugger that there is only 4 weeks left before the kids go back to school....but heck this summer has been fun so far.

That doesn't stop the odd panic about loos, but no accidents so far...I even managed to hang on for over 1 hr...though it was really only a pee I needed but with our disease, well you just never knwo what is going to happen when you relax on a toilet. Why did I hang on 1 hr..well, we were at a finishing stage of the Tour de France, and when those guys fly past and only see them for 30secs would you have risked a bathroom stop? No way, I'd rather have an accident :D and was it worth it or what!!!

SCD Diet stopped

2010-07-12T14:42:00.003+02:00

Let's just say that the SCD Diet didn't work for me, and instead I developed a further allergy....that's they way it goes...can't say I'll miss it...I did have a go and maybe I'll return to a variation at a later date...but for now I am yet again back on Pred...OMG...will it ever stop :(

SCD Diet - Days 29 - 3x

2010-06-13T22:41:00.019+02:00

Day 29 - Mon
Well, today I started with an illegal muffin with 2 eggs on top....mmm...it was lovely. I'm struggling with continuing the SCD diet as I didn't see any positive change. Maybe I've just given up too soon. Maybe I need to put more into it, but the food is so bland and boring. I telephoned a local Naturopath but wasn't able to get an appointment with her this week as she's going to her practice in Geneva and then I'm away next week, so I'll call again when I get back to set up an initial appointment with her and see how it goes.

For dinner I was good and everything was legal, but unfortunately I couldn't resist lemon cake with strawberry icing :( ... and I believe that was my downfall this evening I think. :(

Meds - 3 x Salofalk (1g granules), pred enema
Vitamins - Magnesium with Folic acid and Vit D (combo 1 tablet), cod liver oil capsule (525mg)
Weight - 62.1 kgs(136.9lb s)

BMs

7am - Not much passed except for the remains of the enema.
11am - Normal with M & B mixed in and
7pm - Urgency - D, lots of it
8pm - Urgency D

Day 30 - Tue
I had another muffin today with poached eggs for breakfast. Apart from the muffin, that was it as far as illegals went. The rest of the day I was good.

Meds - 3 x Salofalk (1g granules),, pred enema
Vitamins - Magnesium with Folic acid and Vit D (combo 1 tablet), cod liver oil capsule (525mg)
Weight - 62.0 kgs(136.4lb s)

BMs

7am - Small BM, a bit of D & M..too hard to tell if there was any B.
8am - A larger movement with a bit of M
2pm - A bit of M
9pm - Small BM's with a bit of M
10pm - Small BM's with a bit of M

Day 31 - Wed
Today was a felt a bit weird in the stomach / intestine area. Not crampy and definitely not like the painful ones last week....just weird if you know what I mean. I'm in a funny mood to, so the 2 could be connected. Today I also started a tablet probiotic, so we'll see how that goes.

Meds - 4 x Salazoprin
Vitamins - Magnesium with Folic acid and Vit D (combo 1 tablet), cod liver oil capsule (525mg), 2 probiotics(2x5 million)
Weight - 62.0 kgs(136.4lb s)

BMs

7am - little to nothing & M with a few specks of B
2pm - Slight urgency. M & B mixed in
9pm - M and a bit of B only
10pm - M only

Day 32 - Thur
The usual illegal of a muffin was eaten for breakfast along with a banana. Lunch was another muffin, some cheddar cheese and I shelled a few peanuts for a snack. I don't seem to have that weird feeling in my stomach today. Maybe the probiotic tablets did something although I was under the impression that it took at least 14 days for any benefit to be noticed. Maybe today is just a good day. Actually it was, I got my hair cut and coloured and really like it. Normally it takes until I wash it myself and the colour is a week old, before I like it ... I'm kind off fussy that way ☺

Meds - 3 x Salofalk (1g granules)
Vitamins - Magnesium with Folic acid and Vit D (combo 1 tablet), cod liver oil capsule (525mg)
Weight - 62.0 kgs(136.4lb s)

BMs

7am - Little to nothing & M with a few specks of B
2pm - Little to nothing & M
9pm - M and a bit of B only
10pm - M only

Unfortunately I went on holiday and the SCD Diet was forgotten to my down fall....I'm back to scratch now and have to start with Day 1 of the SCD diet....I WILL try again

SCD Diet - Days 26 - 28

2010-06-10T21:56:00.011+02:00

Day 26 - Fri
I'm wondering if I should have peeled my apple before I ate it this morning as I had real pains this afternoon...not enough to make you cry, but enough to make you sit there and hold on until the cramp passed. This week with so many BM's, I'm beginning to doubt the SCD diet...but I know that it takes time and I'm not even at the end of week 4 yet.

I want, I need, I should, I fear......

I just want to get better though, but I need to see some real signs of improvement and not just fleeting moments where I get my hopes up, only to have them dashed the next day.
I need to have a birthday where I'm not bleeding. The last 3 have been horrible.
I should be grateful though as I'm leading a relatively normal life and can out and about, but the fear is returning that I'm going back to my 30 secs notice.
I fear getting worse.

Meds - 4 x Salazopyrin, Pred Enema
Vitamins - Magnesium with Folic acid and Vit D (combo 1 tablet), Cod Liver Oil (525mg one tablet)
Weight - 61.7 kgs(135.7lb s)

BM's

7am - Only the remains of the enema with a bit of M. Could not see any B.
7.30am - Small movement, og normal consistency, a little bit of M, could see no B
2.00pm - Not much passed, but a normal consistency, a far bit of M & B
3.00pm - Only Ms with a little bit of B
10.50pm - Normal consistency, not sure if there is any M or B

Day 27 - Sat
I totally blew off the SCD Diet today after a horrible Friday and the feeling that the almond flour was doing me more damage than good. The stomach pains subsided finally in the afternoon and I went made toast with bread for lunch followed by pretzel sticks as a snack and my dinner also comprised of avocado on toast with garlic chicken.

Meds - 3 x Salofalk (1g granules)
Vitamins - Magnesium with Folic acid and Vit D (combo 1 tablet)
Weight - 61.7 kgs(135.7lb s)

BMs

7am - Not much passed except for the remains of the enema.
10pm - Normal with a bit of M and possibly a bit of B.

Day 28 - Sun
Still not back on the SCD Diet. Instead I had cornflakes for breakfast, followed at lunch with a toasted cheese and ham sandwich, followed by a Tim Tam biscuit and then an ice-cream when we went out, but for dinner I returned to the SCD Diet. Now I have to decide if I should continue with this diet or not as it seems to be causing me gut pain and I'm not seeing any improvement at all. I would have assumed that after 4 weeks, the BM's would have at least drop slightly, but instead I'm going more. This again could be because I'm off prednisolne, but surely I should have seen some improvement since to begin with this was only a mild flare-up. I feel that I have gotten worse in the last few weeks. Tomorrow is a new day, so I'll see how I feel in the morning and I'll decide then if I should continue with the SCD Diet or not.

Meds - 3 x Salofalk (1g granules)
Vitamins - Magnesium with Folic acid and Vit D (combo 1 tablet)
Weight - 61.7 kgs(135.7lb s)

BMs

7am - Not much passed except for the remains of the enema.
6pm - Slight urgency, but otherwise small movement with a bit of M, could not detect B
8pm - Urgency with little passed. A bit of M noted.
10.30pm - Slight urgency, normal BM, then D. This was immediately after I had finished a cup of tea.

What exactly is a flare-up?

2010-06-08T12:29:00.008+02:00

flare-up (flârp)

1. A sudden outbreak of flame or light: a flare-up of the embers.

2. An outburst or eruption: a flare-up of anger.

3. A recurrence or an intensification: a flare-up of rheumatism.

I've been thinking about this for a while now about what exactly a flare-up is. I wonder if the powers that be will ever include a definition of flare-up for Ulcerative Colitis suffers...mmm probably not.

Generally my flare-ups begin gradually. First I notice a few drops of blood on the tissue roll, possible it might feel itchy, but then within a week or two I get the urgency to go. For the past 3 months or so I've been getting mild stomach cramps in the lower abdomen, and visible blood and mucus in the stool. I haven't been able to get totally out of this flare-up since I dropped to 30mgs of Predisolne the first...way way back at the beginning of March. Is this normal...does anyone else suffer the same way as me....never been able to get out of a flare-up without the aid of steroids?

So I figured if steroids (or surgery) is my only way out, then I at least have to try something..hence why I started the SCD Diet. I'm just over 3 weeks into it and it's bloody hard to stick to. I haven't noticed any benefit yet, but then again, it's not a quick fix. I do wonder though how long it will take for me to see a change for the positive and a decrease in the mucus and urgency to go.

I'm trying to be realistic though...I'm coming of Predisolne even though there is mucus and blood present still. I can't live on those bloody awful little tablets for ever ... god knows what damage they have done already to my bones. As soon as I get home next year, I'm going to have to ask for a bone density test. I honestly couldn't face doing one here..it's all too hard living with this disease in a non English speaking country and that would lead me to stress. Actually, I've possible got a handle on my stress recently...I'm trying not to let things build up on me to the point where I explode.

So, back to flares...I read today that flared trouser (pants) will be back in fashion again for the 2010 Fall...OMG...I didn't wear them as a child in the 70's and I'm definitely not going to be wearing them this Autumn :)

And in case you're interested they are also saying that Metallic Dresses, Velvet Dresses, Capes and Ponchos and the Head To Toe Black Look will also be in this Autumn. At least I'll be happy to do black :)

SCD Diet - Days 23 - 25

2010-06-08T11:30:00.025+02:00

Day 23 - Tue
You hopefully will have the gist of what I've been eating, so from now on I'm only going to post if I knowing or suspect I may have eaten something illegal or if I make something different and I'll still say how I'm feeling. Today I'm relieved to see that things are nearly back to what I call normal for now. Yesterday really scared me..it was just like being back in the bad old days of last summer and not being able to do anything. I'm still not entirely sure what happened...was it the potatoes and the other illegals, or was it because I changed maintenance medicines, or was it because I'm nearly off prednisolne...who knows...anyway I felt like crap yesterday.

Tonight I made a new meal ...chicken cooked in garlic butter...lovely... lets see if there is any fall out from that :D

Meds - 4 x Salazopyrin, 5mg Prednisolne, pred enema
Vitamins - Magnesium with Folic acid and Vit D (combo 1 tablet), Cod Liver Oil (tablet with 525mg)
Weight - 62.1 kgs(136.6lb s)

BMs - sorry but this is really just for me to track on how I'm going and as a reference to look back on....

7am - Possibly only the remains of the enema with a bit of M. Could not see any B.
12.30pm - Normal consistency, a little bit of M, could see no B
6.45pm - Normal consistency, a little bit of M, could see no B
9.50pm - Normal consistency, very little (and dare I say if any) M

*Again sorry to gross anyone out, but I need to note this...All movements are still on the narrow side (width approx 1.5 cm) so assuming inflammation still inside. I've no idea what normal is for everyone, but for me I'll assume 2.5cm would be a good width...normal..and if I can get to that then I'll be as happy as a pig in mud.

Aches & Pains - Slight ache on the left side of my back..could be from sitting wrong at the computer or a something to do with the descending colon...not sure...yesterday's pain was in the front and lower down. If only I was a doctor I'd know :D

Day 24 - Wed
No fall out yet from the garlic chicken :) and I don't know if I dare type this as I don't want to jinx myself, but I'm seeing big improvements. Maybe last weekend was my test and although I failed, I didn't stuff too much stuff into me to cause real damage and was able to get right back on the SCD diet again. I reckon another week will tell, but the flare-up symptoms are definitely reducing and the mucus is going. I'm not using an enema tonight, so we'll see how it goes tomorrow. My guts felt really achy today after lunch. Pains and all sorts. At one stage I went to the bathroom for the just in case, but the pain eased back around 3 hrs after my lunch. Anyone have any ideas what may have caused this. I didn't have a huge lunch or eat anything that wasn't SCD illegal.

Meds - 4 x Salazopyrin, 5mg Prednisolne
Vitamins - Magnesium with Folic acid and Vit D (combo 1 tablet)
Weight - 62.1 kgs(136.6lb s)

BM's

7am - Only the remains of the enema with a bit of M. Could not see any B.
9.50pm - Normal consistency, a little bit of M, could see no B

Day 25 - Thur
Woke up this morning with a splitting headache. Either I'm dehydrated from yesterday as I really didn't drink enough water or something else is going on. I'm sick of eating bananas for breakfast..time to try apples I think unless anyone else has got any good SCD Diet ideas. Today marks my first steroid free day since April when I had to restart at 30mg after only being off them for 2 weeks. My gut still feels a bit achy and I've no idea what is causing this. There is a possibility that I need to eat more in the mornings before I take the magnesium tablet though. Tomorrow I'll try to eat more.

Today I did a big lunch for some of the girls I hang around with. Loads of families are leaving France and heading home as their time is up here. It's sad to see them go, but in the end we all leave. We've no more than 9 months left here now. I can't say I'll be sad to leave, but when I've been feeling OK, I've enjoyed my time here.

Has anyone ever hated doing the shopping and cooking when in a flare-up? Sometimes I find it so hard to do either. I can't stand the smell of food cooking and at the moment it's hard sitting at a table when people are eating. Maybe I'm just jealous :) ......

Meds - 4 x Salazopyrin, pred enema
Vitamins - Magnesium with Folic acid and Vit D (combo 1 tablet), Pred Enema
Weight - 61.7 kgs(135.7lb s)

BMs

7am - Normal consistency with a bit of mucus this morning mixed in and possibly a bit of blood...can't be sure for definite
7.30am - Normal consistency, a little bit of M, could see no B
11.30am - Normal consistency, a little bit of M, could see no B
9.45pm - Normal consistency, a little bit of M, possible a bit of B

SCD Diet - Days 17-22

2010-06-01T23:01:00.043+02:00

Day 17 - Wed
Breakfast - 2 x SCD Raspberry Muffin
Lunch - Chicken, cucumber, cheese
Dinner - Pork Chops, broccoli, cauliflower, carrots, grated cheese
Dessert - Fruit salad (Melon, strawberry, kiwi fruit, pears), Green Tea

Bowel Movements - 1 - More than normal M with a very very small bit of B mixed in.
Meds - 4 x Salazopyrin,10mg Prednisolne
Vitamins - Magnesium with Folic acid and Vit D (combo 1 tablet)
Weight - 62.2 kgs(136.8lb s)

Other - Today is my last day on 10mg Pred..yeah..I'm happy about that and happy that I'm finally going to drop another 5 mgs tomorrow. Today I realised that over the last week there has been a lot less rumblings and gurgles int he stomach / intestine areas...hopefully that's a good thing. OK, confusion time ... I cheated today with a 2cm x 2cm piece of biscuit...chocolate, toffee & biscuit bottom... I couldn't help myself, it was calling to me...anyway I ate it and liked it (not loved it mind you!) and washed a glass of water down with it. I will try not to do that again.

Day 18 - Thur
Breakfast - Banana
Lunch - SCD Muffin
Dinner - Chicken, Cucumber, Cheddar Cheese
Dessert - SCD Biscuit

Bowel Movements - 3 - A bit of M, but it does appear to be decreasing and more B than normally seen over the last week or so.
Meds - 4 x Salazopyrin, 5mg Prednisolne, pred enema
Vitamins - Magnesium with Folic acid and Vit D (combo 1 tablet)
Weight - 62.1 kgs(136.6lb s)

Other - Felt sick all day and I'm beginning to wonder is the almond powder is causing a problem. I'll persist for another few days and see if anything changes. Initially I thought it was because of the whole diet. The problem I have with almond flour is that we're not supposed to eat nuts as it can irritate the colon itself...it's hard to know...one group says one thing, another group says the opposite and mean while, I'm stuck in the middle trying to fix myself.

Day 19 - Fri
Breakfast - Banana
Lunch - SCD Biscuit
Dinner - Chicken, a piece of Pizza (illegal), Tim Tam Chocolate Biscuit (illegal)
Dessert - None

Bowel Movements - 3 - A bit of M and an increase in b noted especailly on the last movement.
Meds - 4 x Salazopyrin, 5mg Prednisolne
Vitamins - Magnesium with Folic acid and Vit D (combo 1 tablet)
Weight - 62.0 kgs(136.6lb s)

Other - Bored with this SCD Diet. A bit pissed off with life :(

Day 20 - Sat
Breakfast - Banana, SCD Discuit
Lunch - Chicken, Cheddar Cheese, 2 eggs
Dinner - Potatoes (illegal), Baked Bean (sauce only - but still illegal), mince
Dessert - none
Bowel Movements - 3 - A bit of M and again an increase in b noted especailly on the last movement.
Meds - 4 x Salazopyrin, 5mg Prednisolne
Vitamins - Magnesium with Folic acid and Vit D (combo 1 tablet)
Weight - 61.6 kgs(135.5lb s)

Other - At dinner time I was so hungry that I felt the need to eat potatoes. Totally fell off the SCD diet. Had an achy stomach all night...I'm not feeling very happy at this moment. I seem to have been in this flare-up for ever. I only got relief from the symptoms in Dec when I went back on the Preds. Since Feb though I've been back in a mild flare-up even though I was still at 30mgs Pred.

Day 21 - Sun
Breakfast - SCD Biscuit, 2 eggs
Lunch - Avocado, Tuna, Cheddar Cheese, SCD Biscuit
Dinner - Mince, Broccoli, Carrots
Dessert - Melon
Bowel Movements - 3 - A bit of M and a further increase in b noted especially on the last movement.
Meds - 4 x Salazopyrin, 5mg Prednisolne
Vitamins - Magnesium with Folic acid and Vit D (combo 1 tablet)
Weight - 61.7 kgs(135.7lb s)

Other - Woke up this morning and had to run to the bathroom. I'm guessing the potatoes, but who knows.
As the day went on though, I felt normal, but it is disheartening to see more and more blood.

Day 22 - Mon
Breakfast - Banana
Lunch - SCD Raison Muffin with cinmamin
Dinner - Pork Chops, Carrots
Dessert - none, just green tea later
Bowel Movements - 6 - A far b it of M each time with traces of B mixed in. 3 movements were mucus only.
Meds - 3 x Salofalk granules (1g), 5mg Prednisolne, pred enema
Vitamins - Magnesium with Folic acid and Vit D (combo 1 tablet)
Weight - 62.0 kgs(136.6lb s)

Other - Yikes, today was not a nice day. Every time I ate things just went through me and I had to rush to the bathroom. I can only assume that have illegals on the weekend, have caused this problem. It felt like the bad old days...little or no notice and one accident. Not happy with myself. Thankfully I was at home most of the day when the urges came. I could have handled an hours round trip to school to pick the kids up otherwise.

Thoughts / Problems on SCD diet

Days 19 & 20 saw me totalling blowing the SCD Diet. I'm not sure what was going on in my mind, but I'd had enough of the diet and digressed. I'm assuming that loads of people feel the same thing, but I acted on my hunger and cravings this time.
Day 21 - I'm changing back to Salofalk to see if I can see any changes.
I seems to feel a lot more angrier these days. Is that the diet or is that just UC? I don't remember being so angry so much of the time before UC. Maybe it was the anger that gave me UC....yes, I've been reading "How to Heal yourself" again...oh, just to be happy with life eh? Now wouldn't that be nice or would I still me mad about something or rather
I'm back on the SCD Diet again and I'm trying to be good.

SCD Diet - Days 15-16

2010-05-30T19:26:00.024+02:00

Day 15 - Mon
Breakfast - SCD banana bread
Lunch - Banana, cheddar cheese
Dinner - Mince Meat Bolognese, Maize Pasta* (I've since found out that Maize is corn and is illegal. I didn't particularly like it anyway, so I'd rather go without)

Dessert - strawberries, melon

Bowel Movements - 3 - A bit of M and a bit of B.
Meds - 4 x Salazopyrin, 10mg Prednisolne
Vitamins - Magnesium with Folic acid and Vit D (combo 1 tablet), Pred Enema
Weight - 62.5 kgs(137.8lb s)
Other - After all the gas yesterday, everything seems to have calmed down a bit now in that department.
I'm not going to try carbonated water for at least another week now and then we'll see if the same thing happens. I am going to use a pred enema for the next week or so as I think the mucus is building now that the pred tablets are dropping. It's hard to really tell, but I'm not taking the risk and ending up in the same state as last summer.

Day 16 - Tue
Breakfast - SCD Banana Bread
Lunch - Chicken, Cheddar Cheese
Dinner - Omelette (3 peppers Green, Red & yellow, tuna and cheddar cheese)
Dessert - Melon, Strawberries, kiwi Fruit, Pears, 1/2 SCD Raspberry Muffin

Bowel Movements - 3 - A bit of M, but it does appear to be decreasing and no B visible today as far as I could see.
Meds - 4 x Salazopyrin, 10mg Prednisolne, pred enema
Vitamins - Magnesium with Folic acid and Vit D (combo 1 tablet), Pred Enema
Weight - 62.1 kgs(136.6lb s)
Other - Feeling normal-ish today. Still a little bit out of sorts, but definitely not as bad as over the weekend.

Thoughts / Problems on SCD diet

Day 15 - Seriously over this diet, I can see why people quit. I'm going to try and hang on in there though. I really don't want to give up yet. I'd hate to look back and realise this was my last hope and I failed myself.
A fellow SCDer send me a link today and from it I found out that when you start this diet there could be some Temporary Initial Symptoms. Last week I developed a rash, which I originally put down as pollen or heat related. But, as the days have went by, I now realise it might have something to do with the SCD diet. Hopefully it will be gone within the next week or two.
Decreasing the preds to 5 mg on Wed for 5 more days. One thing I can say, is that I didn't get this far last time without a heap more blood and mucus, but this time I'm also using an enema when things look like going the wrong way. Time will tell.
For anyone thinking about doing this diet, I'd really recommend clearing out all the 'illegal' stuff from your fridge and cupboards. I can't do this at the moment as I'm the only one on the diet in this house and I'd prefer to allow the kids threats still even if I can't eat them anymore.
Day 16 - I seem to swing back and forwards on this diet...today was manageable. That doesn't mean to say I didn't have a bit of a wobble....but I wobbled myself away from the wheat and sugar temptations.

SCD Diet - Days 12-14

2010-05-27T21:50:00.019+02:00

Day 12 - Fri
Breakfast - banana, cheddar cheese
Lunch - tuna, chicken
Dinner - fish (sauce made with milk*, butter and honey dijon mustard*)
Dessert - strawberries, melon

Bowel Movements - 1 - Not really not sure is there was much B or not. I didn't check properly. It did feel a bit flubbery though...sorry to gross anyone out.
Meds - 4 x Salazopyrin, 10mg Prednisolne
Vitamins - Magnesium with Folic acid and Vit D (combo 1 tablet)
Weight - 62.5 kgs(137.8lb s)
Other - No idea what is going on with the bowel movements. There is no rhyme or reason for why one day I have 4 and then the next day 1. Something that I haven't mentioned though is that I am yet again in a menstrual cycle. Not a heavy one, just a very light one that basically started a few days after I started this diet and it shouldn't have been due for another 2 weeks. No idea if it is to do with wheat, glucose or sugar withdrawal or all of the above.

Day 13 - Sat
Breakfast - Banana, 2 eggs
Lunch - Chicken, Cheddar Cheese, Coleslaw
Dinner - Mince Burgers, Broccoli, carrots, 2 eggs, cucumber, glass of dry white wine
Dessert - Melon, Strawberries

Bowel Movements - 3 - A bit of M & B visible today.
Meds - 4 x Salazopyrin, 10mg Prednisolne
Vitamins - Magnesium with Folic acid and Vit D (combo 1 tablet)
Weight - 62.4 kgs(137.6lb s)
Other - Felt a bit sick today

Day 14 - Sun
Breakfast - SCD Banana bread
Lunch - Currents
Dinner - Pork chops, boiled carrots, fried shredded carrots
Dessert - No Dessert

Bowel Movements - 5 - A fair bit of M & a bit of B visible today. Lots of gassy toilet stops today, with little substance...just mucus.
Meds - 4 x Salazopyrin, 10mg Prednisolne
Vitamins - Magnesium with Folic acid and Vit D (combo 1 tablet)
Weight - 62.4 kgs(137.6lb s)
Other - Felt a bit sick today

Thoughts / Problems on SCD diet

Day 12 - I have to admit that I broke the SCD diet today with piece of cake that an acquaintance brought over. I honestly can say that I didn't want to eat it, but I felt obliged. Do you know what I mean? It would have been rude not to. The 'illegal' was flour and possibly the cottage cheese. I cut myself the smallest slice possible and ate 3/4 of it, but felt really guilty while doing that, but said how nice it was. So the problem is, how do I not get myself into these situations again while I'm on this diet? In 6 months time, I'm off the opinion that if does work, that I'm going to give myself a break from the diet if we are at peoples houses, but I think it is way too soon to be doing that now. I should have been honest and said that I couldn't eat it. I'd made SCD Banana cake and it was bloody good too, but I felt the need to try her cake as she had went to that effort. I think I'm a people pleaser sometimes and I don't like to be rude. Maybe I need to just say in future. Tomorrow night I'm going out, but I plan to take all my own food with me anyhow. These are my friends though and they know the score. I'm already missing a 'farewell' night out with them at a restaurant in a couple of weeks as it's way to early to risk a full illegal meal. There are so many leaving France in the next couple of weeks to head back to their home countries that it's quite sad to say good bye anyway :(
I made pizza for the kids tonight and can honestly say I had no interest in it. Now saying that though, when they had ice-cream for dessert, I had to walk away. Now that was a killer. I went and got strawberries and melon instead. Not quite the same without ice cream though.
I seem to put myself through hell everyday when I look in our fridge. There's chocolate and proper jam and sweets that the kids have bought. OMG, it's killing me, but I need to see if this bloody diet will work...so "Step away from the fridge"
While the kids were at school today I did Wii Fit for 1 hr on Day 12. I really haven't done anything much in the last 2 years. I wonder how long the fitness 'thing' will last. The last time I was really really fit and toned was just before I got UC. I used to train 4 nights a week for 80 mins. I was obsessed with it. It used to play on my mind that I stressed my body so much that I got UC...but who knows..I was probably going to get it one way or the other anyway. No point in saying, if only....if is such a small word that can cause all sorts of guilt.
On Day 13 I went to the party and felt slight out of sorts as I couldn't eat most of the food they put on the table. I'd taken my own little container of things and a fruit salad dessert to share. To be honest, since I've been on this diet I've felt out of sorts some days, but then again, ever since I got UC I've had plenty of "out of sorts" days. Will life ever get back to normal?
On Day 14 I noticed that carbonated water was giving me gas. I drunk a fair bit of it last night, but it was only this evening, that I clicked onto the fact that it was making me go to the bathroom.

SCD Diet - Days 10-11

2010-05-26T09:39:00.010+02:00

Day 10 - Wed
Breakfast - SCD raisin muffin
Lunch - salad, chicken, SCD muffin, cheddar cheese, coleslaw, cucumber
Dinner - scramble eggs (made illegally with 30ml skimmed milk), SCD muffin, Cheddar Cheese, glass of dry white wine
Dessert - No dessert

Bowel Movements - 4 - Bit of M and possibly a bit of B. Urgency of the last one after a bit of gas. Not sure why.
Meds - 4 x Salazopyrin, 15mg Prednisolne
Vitamins - Magnesium with Folic acid and Vit D (combo 1 tablet)
Weight - 62.6 kgs(138.0lb s)
Other - Woke up this morning with a few minor stomach pains. The pain was relieved after the 1st Bowel movement. As I had beef and mince last night, it might be that is causing my damaged intestines pain in the pushing process thorugh. I'll keep an eye on this next time I have beef or a 'heavy' meet dish.

Day 11- Thur
Breakfast - Banana, 1x Danone Actimel*
Lunch - Chicken, Cheddar Cheese, Coleslaw
Dinner - Wheat and Gluten free spagetti (probably illegal), mince in bologne sauce, Raisin muffin
Dessert - Melon, Strawberries

Bowel Movements - 3 - A bit of M visible today, but still no sign of B. Not sure what is causing me to go to the bathroom today after meals. We'll see how tomorrow goes. Something is not agreeing with me. But is could also be a virus as my boy is off sick today...
Meds - 4 x Salazopyrin, 10mg Prednisolne
Vitamins - Magnesium with Folic acid and Vit D (combo 1 tablet)
Weight - 62.4 kgs(137.6lb s)
Other - Woke up this morning feeling a bit out of sorts

Thoughts / Problems on SCD diet

On Day 10 I felt really gassy, but I'm not sure what has caused this except for maybe the small portion of coleslaw
The stomach / intestine gurgles seem to be very much lessening. Looking back over the last 6 months, they seemed to be at their height at Christmas when I seriously stuffed myself with sweets (lollies) and cake.
Summer has arrived in the South of France and I was slight pink at the end of the day. You'd think at my age (and the fact that I live in Australia normally) that I'd know better!
On Day 11, I really wanted to give up on the diet and go and stuff myself with bread and sweets. This isn't like giving up smoking, where the craving only last for 30 secs. But I'm still hanging in there. Someone once told me that it takes 3 weeks for the brain to change to a new way of thinking :( .... oh well, half way there.

SCD Diet - Days 8-9

2010-05-24T23:18:00.003+02:00

Day 8 - Mon
Breakfast - Banana, boiled egg, SCD raisin muffin
Lunch - Cheddar Cheese, SCD raisin muffin, avocado dip, mince meat burgers (SCD legal), boiled egg
Dinner - Roast Beef, Carrots, Broccoli
Dessert - No dessert..I forgot tonight

Bowel Movements - 2 - 1st M, 2nd M & a bit of B.
Meds - 4 x Salazopyrin, 15mg Prednisolne
Vitamins - Magnesium with Folic acid and Vit D (combo 1 tablet)
Weight - 62.3 kgs(137.3lb s)
Other - Woke up this morning with ..wait for it....NO pains!!!!

Day 9 - Tue
Breakfast - SCD Muffin
Lunch - 2 x Boiled Egg, Chicken, left overs (beef and baby burgers), Cheddar Cheese, Avocado with lemon juice & pepper, tomato, Slice of SCD Cheese bread
Dinner - Lamb kebabs with onion & green Peppers, SCD Muffin
Dessert - Raisins

Bowel Movements - 1 - less M and no B today (that I was able to spot anyway)
Meds - 4 x Salazopyrin, 15mg Prednisolne
Vitamins - Magnesium with Folic acid and Vit D (combo 1 tablet)
Weight - 62.5 kgs(137.8lb s)
Other - Woke up this morning with very few stomach pains.

Thoughts / Problems on SCD diet

Having a roast with no gravy or potatoes was a bit hard
If I buy shelled peanuts, cover with a bit of olive oil and salt and shove then in the oven to roast is it SCD legal...and will they taste good?
Had a really bad craving for sweets / lollies....substituted with raisin...not the same :(
Was surprised that my weight increased by 200g on Day 9

UC linked to stress and food

2010-05-21T16:28:00.006+02:00

I had to share .... this is an excerpt of something that I have found to be very interesting and confirm what I'm thinking

http://flog.cookingforceliacscolitiscrohnsandibs.com/diet-questions/specific-carbohydrate-diet-scd-and-beyond/
"The SCD diet is an essential part of the process for controlling and reaching remission for almost all inflammatory conditions within the body.

For people with inflammatory bowel conditions there is almost always a history of excessive carbohydrate intake and a period of intense or sustained emotional stress. The combination of these two factors causes the large bowel to become too acidic and this also lowers the pH of the lower small intestine (jejunum and ileum). The acidity in the small intestine reduces the effectiveness of the digestive enzymes from the pancreas and creates an environment where undigested carbohydrates and other food ferments and parasites thrive. The region that is often most effected is the iliocecal valve which is the junction point between the small and large intestine in the right lower quadrant of the abdomen. This area is always tender to pressure when this region is too acidic and often corresponds with tenderness of the right sacroiliac joint in the pelvis. People with chronic low back pain that does not respond or is aggravated by manual adjusting will often have an inflamed iliocecal valve.

It is important to note that lactic acid producing bacteria including streptococcus, lactobacillus and bifidus all may contribute to the acidity if the diet contains excess carbohydrate. For each molecule of glucose these bacteria produce two molecules of lactic acid which then lowers the pH of the bowel. Symptomatically you will often experience a burning sensation when passing a bowel motion when this situation is present. Therefore taking any probiotics exacerbates the situation unless the SCD program is in place."

Well, who knows if the SCD Diet will work or not...but as far as I'm concerned this is just another re-enforcement on what I'm thinking now is the cause of my UC. I had asthma (common chronic inflammatory disease of the airways inflammation of lungs) as a kid which didn't run in my family and also I've always had lower back pain...not chronic, just niggly. The good news is my asthma went away when I was about 30 and I hadn't had a full om asthma attached since I was 18, so maybe the SCD diet will do for me as it did for others an get rid of my UC....here's hoping.

SCD Diet - Days 6-7

2010-05-21T16:19:00.024+02:00

Day 6 - Sat
Breakfast - Banana, boiled egg, SCD raisin muffin
Lunch - Prawns, chicken, Cheddar Cheese, 2 SCD muffins
Dinner - Salmon, Carrots, Cauliflower, Broccoli
Dessert - Fruit Salad - Pear, Melon, Kiwi fruit, Mango, Strawberries

Bowel Movements - 3 - 1st M, 2nd M & a bit of B and an urgency to go on the second one. I might have eaten something the day before that disagreed...I'm not sure, 3rd A bit of B
Meds - 4 x Salazopyrin, 15mg Prednisolne
Vitamins - Magnesium with Folic acid and Vit D (combo 1 tablet)
Weight - 62.4 kgs(137.6lb s)
Other - Woke up this morning with just the usual few stomach pains.

Day 7 - Sun
Breakfast - Banana
Lunch - Mince Meat & Onion Burgers, Cheddar Cheese, Salad Leaves, Slice of SCD Cheese bread
Dinner - 2 Raisin muffins with butter
Dessert - Fruit Salad - Pear, Kiwi fruit, Pineapple, Strawberries

Bowel Movements - 4 - More M visible today, but no sign of B. Not sure what is causing me to go to the bathroom today after meals. We'll see how tomorrow goes.
Meds - 4 x Salazopyrin, 15mg Prednisolne
Vitamins - Magnesium with Folic acid and Vit D (combo 1 tablet)
Weight - 62.4 kgs(137.6lb s)
Other - Woke up this morning with very few stomach pains. I ate salmon yesterday and although it tasted OK, I have had problems with that in the past.

Thoughts / Problems on SCD diet

I'm thinking today that I probably shouldn't be eating salad leaves just yet, but as I'm only have a few, I think I might be OK
It's actually pretty easy to make the SCD bread and muffins. I'm wondering if I should invest in a yogurt marker...might have to leave that until the end of the 30 day trial.
I tried to make Cauliflower "potatoes" as per the SCD receipt...let's just say it turned out like mush as I stuck it in the blender..it did taste OK though
I was slightly pissed off and alarmed on Saturday at having such an urgency to run to the loo, but it could also be part of the 'cleaning' out. The rest of the day went fine though. I really didn't think about the toilet today when we were out and about up at the Fontaine-de-Vaucluse. We'd never been there before and that is one cool place.
It was my husband birthday today and I made a proper chocolate cake for them. I can't deny that I was dying for a bit, but as having only been 7 days on this diet, it's way to early to cheat, even with a little bit.
Still too early to say whether this diet is having any affect.

SCD Diet - Days 4-5

2010-05-21T16:07:00.014+02:00

Day 4 - Thur
Breakfast - 1x Danone Actimel*, Banana, boiled egg
Lunch - Poached Egg, Tuna, Cheddar Cheese, Avocado with lemon juice & pepper, tomato
Dinner - Chicken, Brocilli, Carrots, grated cheese

Dessert - Fruit Salad - Pear, Melon, Kiwi fruit, Pineapple, Strawberries

Bowel Movements - 1 - M and a bit of more B than yesterday

Meds - 4 x Salazopyrin, 15mg Prednisolne

Vitamins - Magnesium with Folic acid and Vit D (combo 1 tablet)

Weight - 63.0kgs (138.89lbs)

Other - Woke up this morning to a few stomach pains...defo less than the previous days, though was slightly pissed off at the sight of more blood than the previous day. Can't believe how much weight I have lost so far...I think in future I will need ot watch for weight gain as a sign of the UC getting worse...there seems to have been a pattern to weight increase then onset of UC...now if I can just get into remission I'll be happier.

Day 5 - Fri
Breakfast - 1x Danone Actimel*, Banana
Lunch - 2 x Poached Egg, Tuna, Prawns, Chicken, Cheddar Cheese, Avocado with lemon juice & pepper, tomato, Slice of SCD Cheese bread
Dinner - SCD Raison Bread with butter

Bowel Movements - 2 - less M and no B today (that I was able to spot anyway)

Meds - 4 x Salazopyrin, 15mg Prednisolne

Vitamins - Magnesium with Folic acid and Vit D (combo 1 tablet)

Weight - 62.6kgs(138lbs)

Other - Woke up this morning with only a very few stomach pains...actually hardly worth mentioning

Thoughts so far on SCD diet

I can't believe how much weight I have lost so far
Someone told me that after about 3 weeks I wouldn't crave bread and carbs...we'll see
I found Almond Flour today, easy when you know where to look
Found several blogs where people with UC seem to be sympton free
I'm surprised at how unstressed I feel, even with the extra work of this diet, but that's not to say that I still don't get stressed...now I just don't seem to explode like I used to

Specific Carbohydrate Diet (SCD) Diet - Week 1 (Days 1-3)

2010-05-17T12:50:00.052+02:00

"The Specific Carbohydrate Diet™ has proven to be highly successful for many who suffer from various bowel disorders as well as the many related problems which actually stem from imbalances in the intestinal tract" - http://www.breakingtheviciouscycle.info/ So, time to give another thing a go....I've bought the book, looked up what is 'legal' to eat and am going to give it a go for a month...no harm in trying I say...so here goes.

Day 1 - Mon
Breakfast - 1x Danone Actimel*, Boiled Egg
Lunch - 2 x Boiled Egg, chicken, 3 slices Cheddar Cheese, Avocado with lemon juice & pepper, Lettuce**, Tomato
Dinner - Fish (sauce made with milk butter and honey dijon mustard***) , Cauliflower, Broccoli

Bowel Movements - 3 - Mucus(M),Blood(B) and a bit loose on the last one.

Meds - 4 x Salazopyrin, 20mg Prednisolne
Vitamins - Magnesium with Folic acid and Vit D (combo 1 tablet)

Weight - 64.2kgs (141.53lbs)
Other - No noticeable rumbles / gurgles in the stomach / intestine area after eating Dinner

Day 2 - Tue
Breakfast - 1x Danone Actimel*, Banana, 3 very small slices of Cheddar Cheese
Lunch - scrambled eggs (2 eggs, milk****, butter), chicken, 3 slices Cheddar Cheese, Avocado with lemon juice & pepper, tomato
Dinner - Mince burgers (mince, egg & onion), carrotts
Dessert - Fruit Salad - Pear, Melon, Kiwi fruit, Pineapple, Strawberries

Bowel Movements - 2 - M and a bit of more B than yesterday

Meds - 4 x Salazopyrin, 20mg Prednisolne

Vitamins - Magnesium with Folic acid and Vit D (combo 1 tablet)

Weight - 63.5kgs(139.99lbs)

Other - Woke up this morning to a few stomach pains...nothing too painful...could be part of the colon clean-out....but way too early to say for definite. Heard a few gurgles this morning in the intestine area, but only small and nothing like what I was hearing last week on a 'normal' diet. Went to BIO shop to look for Almond Flour, but no luck there. I have found out however that I should be able to get it in Avignon..so just an hours drive away. God, I miss bread...we have a visitor at present staying with us and he had toast this morning.... :( ... I love toast... :( ... A few gurgles after dinner... a few minor little pains on the left side of the intestine.

Day 3 - Wed
Breakfast - 1x Danone Actimel*, Banana
Lunch - scrambled eggs (2 eggs, milk****, butter), chicken, 3 slices Cheddar Cheese, Avocado with lemon juice & p boiled eggs, chicken, grated cheese, tomato
Dinner - Lamb kebabs cooked on the BBQ with pepper and onion, Broccoli, Cheese Bread(made as per the SCD recipe)
Dessert - Fruit Salad - Pear, Melon, Kiwi fruit, Pineapple, Strawberries

Bowel Movements - 1 - M and B, but of less amounts than yesterday

Meds - 4 x Salazopyrin, 20mg Prednisolne Vitamins - Magnesium with Folic acid and Vit D (combo 1 tablet)

Weight - 63.2kgs(139.33lbs)

Other - Again woke up this morning to a few stomach pains...nothing too painful. Gurgles are down today in the intestine area. Felt a bit sluggish in the morning, but after 1hr or so that went away

Couple of possible problems
*So I found out on Day 3 that Actimel is a big NO NO under the SCD diet, but I am going to continue to use it for another 2 weeks...
** I sprayed balsamic vinegar on the lettuce and don't know if this is an illegal item or not
*** Honey Dijon mustard - it is an illegal SCD item, it contains sugar...but as I boiled it in the milk, I'm hoping that some of the refined sugar was lost....
**** Milk is illegal, but it was heated..and it was only a little bit...say 30 - 40ml

Thoughts so far on SCD diet

I'm eating pretty well so far
I really wanted bread and potatoes on Day 1 & 2 - I didn't realise I would have withdraw symptoms
Can't find Almond Flour in France, but will keep looking
Missing chocolate and treats - I wonder how long that craving will last
I wonder if this is similar to some detoxes

I'm going to document the next month on the SCD diet, with posts every few days, just so I can have a complete record of this trail.

Washing Powder - Spanish style - oh if only

2010-05-17T12:30:00.010+02:00

On a recent holiday, I came across this washing powder...ahhhh, if only life was so simple and we could wash away the UC ...

In saying that though, I have started to make a change with my diet ...I'm going to attempt to do a full month on the SCD diet and see what happens. Now, this has actually taken me a whole year to reach this point as when I first bought the book entitled "Breaking the Vicious Cycle" I took one look at it at went..NO WAY! TOO HARD.

Basically it's a book that deals with what might cause us to have such a crappy disease - Intestinal Health through Diet - but with everything else not working, well what the hell says I....I can give it a months go and see what happens...it will only cost me time preparing stuff from scratch, but who is to know, this might finally sort me out. Some serious alarm bells went off in my head while reading this again and what we though was good for us, could actually be part of the problem...bang goes potatoes, bread, rice, ice-cream and chocolate(along with loads of other things...bugger and I love them....oh, but in comes dry wine and other things that I'm sure I can survive on. The down side is that if I do see results within the first month, then I really will have to commit to this diet for 2 years to get finally get rid of UC and off all the drugs. I'm still going to use the hypnotherapy as I do believe it has helped me in many way, but unfortunately for me, it couldn't make the UC go away.

3rd Anniversary

2010-05-07T11:04:00.003+02:00

Little did I know how my life was going to change, but 3 years ago this month was when I saw the first drops of blood on the tissue roll.

When I look by back, I realise how scared and stupid I was. I didn't do anything about it for weeks. I didn't have any pain or bouts of running to the toilet. There was just the ominous presents of blood. If I had have went to the doctors as soon as I noticed it would it have made a difference? I doubt it.

I actually feel sad about the life I used to have. Maybe I would have become more stressed out anyway as the kids get older and different pressures appear in life. Who is to know.

So here I am, 3 years later..still ploughing on each day and wondering what will happen next.

How I wish for the days when you could plan 6 months ahead without having to worrying about bowel movements......aaaahhhhhh those were the days.

Delete...

2010-04-18T00:05:00.005+02:00

It's so easy just to hit the delete button on my computer to make things nice and tidy. It's such a shame I can't get into my own body's system and hit delete on UC.

Then again, just because you've hit delete on your computer, it doesn't mean it's completely gone away...it's just hidden from view for now... the only way to get rid of something completely is to re-image it...mmmm...now if only I can figure out how can I do that for myself...but to begin with I have to have an image to be able to restore to...maybe that is what all the self help imagery is about...I'll have to think about that.

I think I got dumped by the Doc

2010-04-08T11:10:00.013+02:00

Well, this has been an interesting week. I went to see my GI on Tuesday with a little bit of trepidation as I hadn't followed his instruction...(see previous blog)..little did I know how badly he was going to take this. Now the French can be highly strung and are quite likely to through a wobbler at you over something that wouldn't really bother me, but then again we're all different and react to things differently. Anyway, basically I told him that I hadn't done as instructed with the medicines, but had in fact finished with the predisolne and wasn't going back on them at least for the next couple of months. They are evil little tablets, but unfortunately for me, they are the only thing that works to bring the flare up under control. Now that I'm finished them though, I'm told that it could be up to 6 months before my own body is creating the correct levels of cortisone.

Also of note, is that the bleeding and mucus had actually subsided. There still is a bit of mucus, but the bleeding is now minimal and hopefully will become less and less.

So what did I do to get to here....well I moved away from mesalazine and back onto Sulfsalazine(both 5-ASA). For me mesalazine wasn't working..I have no idea if it ever worked neither as I was put on sulfsalazine first, but came of it when I got headaches. Anyway, I tried mesalazine for over a year and it didn't seem to make any difference..in fact I only got worse. I also am back on the wheat grass tables, Vitamin B (for stress), daily Probiotics via yogurt and have a Paul McKenna CD to try and change my life in 7 days.

I've not been very good though with the refined sugar over the past few days...those damn Easter Eggs :D

So back to my GI...well basically I wasn't asked to make a further follow up appointment. Maybe I'm being too sensitive, but surely (and as has been the pattern for the last 9 months) he would have wanted to check up on me in a months time....oh well, not this time by the looks of it.

Maybe this should be the catalyst for me to find a new GI :D

The state of affairs...

2010-04-04T21:47:00.003+02:00

So, I'm done with the steroids...finished on Saturday...OMG..scary or what..but I intend to hang in there...unfortunately my resolve to stay away from refined sugar was a bit buggered by Easter, but I did last 1.5 weeks. Did it make a difference...honestly I think not, but I did have a go at least.

Good news is that my UC has gotten no worse and I've lost 1.5 kgs...excellent...and I'm still listening to Listen to Guy's hypnotherapy recording with Geoffrey and have also just got a book and CD from the Paul McKenna collection. Time will tell.

Back to the GI on Tuesday...oh lucky me .... NOT!

Oh and before I go .... a lesson I learnt last week, was not to surf the internet for information that I really do not need to know about right now as all it does is put scary pictures into your head for a procedure you don't yet need!!!

Life is short...time to sort it out

2010-03-25T13:18:00.007+01:00

So I went to see my French GI doc on Tuesday and I was delivered bad news. "It's flaring worse than 4 weeks ago".....well I know that...so what to do...his response was to up the preds to 30mgs again and if that didn't work then in 2 weeks he was going to put me on a new medicine which will need weekly blood tests and can do something to your heart!

Yep, that scared the bejezzus out of me and after paying my 28 euros I left the surgery stunned and then started to cry. How the hell did I get myself into such a mess? It's not fear! Why me?

So for those with UC, well, you know the emotions we suffer. But (2 days later) now I'm pissed! So I decided a few things.....NO, I will not up the preds, in fact I dropped to 5mg today....and no I won't take any medicine that could affect my heart! I'm so pissed off that I'm cortisone dependant now that there is no way I'm going back up to 30mg. These are the reasons why:-

Yep there is a bit of mucus and bleeding, but no I'm not running continually to the toilets.
I've been stressed over my boys op and family stuff going up now for quite a while.
I've been eating way too much sweet stuff and god knows what that's been doing to my insides.
I've put on 4 kgs and that is just pissing me off now too
I'm sick of living in France and want to go home..it's just too hard here
My boy has been getting too many sore tummies lately and that's playing on my mind. I don't want him to have what I have.

So what am I going to do about it.

Well, I'm still stuck here for another year for I can't move, but I can find another GI that speaks a bit more English
Not increase the preds, instead I'm going to finish up on then in 7 days
For at least the next 3 weeks I have stopped eating eating refined sugar...no chocolates, no sweeties, no ice-cream, no sugar in tea (and that should help reduce the weight)
Do a bit more exercise..an extra 30 mins walking or some wii fit maybe.
Listen to Guy's hypnotherapy recording with Geoffrey

All I know is that I need to get properly into remission and I have to get off the preds. So already I started reading Guy Cohen's book again and listening to Geoffrey's recording. I've cut out sugar and hopefully in a few weeks I've seen some decent signs of the UC going again.

In 2 weeks I go back to see my GI doctor and since I'm not following his instructions I'm really hoping for an improvement.

Here we go again

2010-03-21T19:26:00.008+01:00

What a week...but at least it's over and another new week is about to begin. Now that I don't work, I actually look forward to Mondays! Somehow I don't think I'll be saying that next year when life returns to normal back in Australia!

Anyway, my boy's operation is over and he's starting to heal nicely. I kept him off school for 4 days in the end as he wasn't ready at all to go back on Friday. So much for him only having one day off as advised by the doctor. That was actually a pretty scary day. They took him away from me at 8.35am and he didn't come back until 10.35am. I was panic stricken at that stage and was too scared to ask the nurses what was going on. It was only later that I found out that I should have went with him as far as the operating room, but no-one told me that and it's not something that I would have thought to ask them before. Anyway, it's all over and done and boy was I relieved to have him back. He seemed none the worse for it all and in fact was quite chirpy about it all. Now this is not at all like my 7 yr old. Maybe this experience had made him stronger. One thing I have learnt over the last few weeks, is to tell him what is going to happen, how much it's going to hurt etc and he seems to be able to handle it. I do fear for both my kids though, but maybe there is a lesson in this for me to learn too. I don't want them to get UC, and maybe they won't..they didn't get my shitty teeth, so maybe they won't get my shitty UC neither.

So tomorrow we're into another new week. I have another UC doctors appointment this week that I was supposed to have last week, but I cancelled it due to the boys op. Realistically I didn't want to go anyway. I'm holding my own...well, I'm kind off holding my own. I'm down to 10mgspred with 2 more days to go, then I'm down to 5mgs for the next 10 days..then I'm done. I have a little bit of mucus and a tiny bit of blood, but no pain and no urgency..so that's good as far as I'm concerned. I'm also using a suppository that I got from my last trip back home when I notice the blood / mucus increasing. I'm hoping this will keep things under control this time.

So what have I learnt from last week...well, as usual I panicked over nothing...both I and the boy survived his operation in one piece...so my lesson is to stop worrying about things that might not happen...easier said than done for me I think ... I'm just big bundle of messed up nerves..so how do I unravel myself...time will tell ... fear is a scary thing ...

Iron tablets and UC

2010-03-11T11:37:00.005+01:00

My iron levels (yep, just like my cortisone levels) have been low. The Doctor put me on iron supplement tablets. I managed to stay on them only for 10 days as they seemed to play havoc with my insides. Just a few pains, nothing too major, but just enough to make to decide that I didn't want to take iron supplements. I'd heard before that iron supplements and UC we not a good combination, but I don't know why. I'll have to try and increase my iron levels by eating iron rich foods instead and see what happens.

Low cortisone levels

2010-03-04T13:19:00.011+01:00

So this is going to be a bit of a whingy blog as I am constantly battling my issues over the so called specialists' knowledge.

So basically I find myself now with very low cortisone levels...not good for someone trying to get off the steroids.

Back in November I should have seen the warning signs, but I'm not a doctor so I didn't think that much about not getting the full on 'rush' and 'euphoria' when I commenced taking prednisolone at 50mgs. At the time I did think it was strange as my previous experience on prednisolone had seen the euphoria as well as the mood swings or irritability. Also it seemed to take a lot longer to get the UC under control this time...it was 4 weeks of 50mgs before the blood cleared up, although my stools returned to normal quite quickly, i.e. less than 2 days.

So in future and at the onset of bleeding but before I get told to get back on prednisolone I'm going to ask for a blood test which will include my cortisone levels, just so I know where I'm starting from. I feel that the specialist should have done more blood work, but as this is quite new to me still, I'm on this huge learning curve about what I should and shouldn't be doing and when. Also they are supposed to know about this stuff, but sometimes I feel like a guinea pig and they are practising their theories on me...but at what cost?

In fact, I don't want to go back on prednisolone once I finally get off this round, but to do that I have to get my UC under control and stop stressing out about every little thing in life.

I'm going to go back to Guy's book and read it again and see if I can do more with his 'rewind' technique as I really couldn't get a handle on that last time....

Continually Scared

2010-03-02T08:46:00.006+01:00

Why do I surf the internet to find stuff out about UC? All it ends up doing is scaring me...which in turn stresses me out...which in turn makes me think I'm going to have a full on flare-up! That's the circle that I continually find myself in. So it's time to stop it.

Yep, I'm worried about stuff, but then again, who isn't worried about stuff (big or small)...most of it I can't control and yes I do now realise that it's abnormal to get as worried as I do about stuff, but I just can't help it...who would I be if I didn't have something to worry about? Maybe a very content person...maybe a very stupid person...who knows....ignorance is bliss as they say.

So this week, after reading more stuff about UC and other people's experiences I have successfully scared myself last night over the meds I'm taking...so today, I'm going to have a big talk to myself (yep...first sign of madness) about what I'm doing to myself and somehow, I going to get myself calmed down and not going to set myself off with another UC flare-up! I know it's all controlled by my mind and what I'm thinking over a period of time.

On another personnel front..I'm worried about my boy's up coming operation....he is now 7 and has to have circumcision because of issues and infections in the last 2 years. I worry about the operation and the pain that he will have to deal with afterwards and unfortunately my boy is also a born worrier, so I've hidden facts from him. We'll deal with those later once he's in recovery. His operation is in France in 2 weeks..so yet again I deal with the language barrier..oh to go home for good....oh well, one more year in France to cope with...back to Oz in 2011

The timing couldn't have been any worse

2010-02-01T11:01:00.005+01:00

This is 4 weeks late being posted....dooohhh....but better late than never...and I can laugh about it now :D

Monday 1st Feb - OK...I'm due to fly to Australia tomorrow. Normally planes journeys scare the UC back to life, but I've been blood free now for a couple of months...thanks to the steroids...so what stupid thing do I go and do on Saturday? I go skiing and I get hurt!

I ran into a tow lift..or rather, it appears that the stupid woman using the tow lift throw her 'button' lift at me! I was knocked out for 30 secs or so and when I came too there was a heap of bright red stuff in the snow...shit it's blood and there was loads of it!!! Thankfully although I was severly hurt and shaken up, somehow all my teeth were intact and I hadn't broken anything! But my flight back to Oz is with one really black eye..one little black eye and a very bruised jaw line....ah....what a pretty picture to travel with....so I posted pictures of my new look of facebook just so everyone know what to expect when I arrived.

and back to now .....

Oh well black eye and bruising lasted for 2 weeks, but lesson learnt..stay away from button lifts at the exit.

On the UC front, things are mainly ok, except that my last blood test results showed low iron cortisone levels and there is a touch of bleeding as I reduce the steriods. But all in all, I feel ok and I have all my "extra" meds from Oz back with me in France now. I'm back to see my Doc in 2 weeks, so we'll see how were doing then. I'm hoping the few blood traces are something that my maintenace drug (salazopyrin) will sort out soon.

Dentist V Colonoscopy

2010-01-18T22:52:00.004+01:00

I'm afraid of the dentist...I was born unluckily with crappy British teeth, possibly due to the lack of fluoride in our water in NI. Though saying that, I could be dealing with other issues today if there had been fluoride in our water..who knows...

So, I'm off to the dentist on Thursday to have a filling changed as I broke the top of it off just before Christmas and have had a temp filling in place since then. The way I see it, I have 2 choices....go the the dentist twice (this week and next) for 45mins each and get it fixed properly now or chicken out and wait until the temporary one falls out and then go back. I'd love to choose my 2nd option, but how stupid would I be!! Then I started think, what would I rather do...go to the dentist or have a colonoscopy....surprisingly and weirdly enough ...I'd rather have a colonoscopy...see I told hate going to the dentist, but I'm going to go and do what I have to do (one this occasion anyway :D)

The steroids are still doing their job on the 5 month UC flare-up front and surprisingly I'm quite happy these days...stressed with French life and their bureaucracy, but otherwise happy. I'm down to 30mgs now and have I reckon about 6 weeks left on the preds before I'm back only on an maintenance drug.

We're off home to Australia in a few weeks and so far the stress of flying has not built up. I've been crap with flying ever since I had kids...no idea why..it's totally irrational, especially since I used to love flying.

Lets see how I'm doing when I get back :D ... I'm hoping to be down to 10mgs and on the steroid free home straight again :D

Happy New Year :D

2010-01-04T14:24:00.008+01:00

Sorry, I kind of disappeared for a little while there...that's what 2 kids, a few trips and December did to me this year :D

And the reason that I was able to be so busy was that I have finally, after 5 months gotten this bloody UC under control, thanks finally to have been given to the steroids I was so desperate for in July. The positive thinking does go a long way in helping UC and believe me when I say that without it and Guy's therapies, I would have been a hell of a lot worse of. I just needed a bit more a helping hand to get this flare-up under control so that I can try and maintain it now.

The trip to Paris with the kids also getting their day trip to Disneyland was a blast. I can't believe that I've never had the urge to visit Paris before. We're already planning our trip back in spring.

Our first Christmas in France has been good. I did have a little hiccup with a slight trace of blood but I put that down to doing too much and a slight bit of stress due to a broken tooth. Yes, it was stupid to get upset over a broken tooth but living here in France and not speaking fluent French causes all sorts of bother when you need to do a simply task! Anyway...tooth temporarily sorted and I'm back for proper filling in a few weeks.

The next thing I have to look forward to is a quick trip back to Oz...that's my big test with UC...I hate flying and it always stresses me out and bang.....I have a flare-up...so fingers crossed..... plus...I'll still be coming down from the steriods...so lets see if I can make it there in back without with any incidents.

Anyway....Happy New Year to everyone...may we all be UC free in 2010

Time flies by

2009-11-24T10:19:00.003+01:00

I can't believe it is nearly the end of November already...time is just flying by..but then again the older you get the quick goes...then again do I really want to be 18 or 21 again and have to go through all those exam times and then being the lowest of the low in the work force...I guess not as the only things that kept me going then were parties, clubbing and the beer :D

I've just started the steroids again to get this flare-up under control as 5 months was just way too long for it to be dragging on. I definitely did get some relief with the relaxation techniques, but the stress of living here and all that travel was causing a negative effect on the good I was trying to do. A little help this time won't kill me and at least I now know I have another route I can take when I get back home in 2011.

I'm 7 days into the meds now and I can feel everything starting to (hopefully) settle down. I had one little tiny accident yesterday..but hoo hum...such is life...I dealt with it and I won't get caught short again. I should have recognised the pain as it really did give me a got 15 mins notice, but thank goodness we're a bit more solid these days...that's all I can say :D

So next, we'll wait and see how this affects me mentally. I know what to look out for now and I'm prepared to not let it get on top of me. I'm figuring 10-11 weeks tops on the meds and by that stage I'll be back home to get the other meds I need that will hopefully prevent this full type of flare up again. France isn't too hot on meds from what I can see...they are very limited. It's yet again another live and learn thing...I'll make sure I'm well stock up for next year.

We're off to Paris next week...I can't wait...I've never been there ...sounds kind of silly since we lived in England for 9 years, but when something is on your doorstop you just don't bother to see it. Anyway hopefully I'll be out and about and the kids are bursting to see Disneyland Paris. I hoping for clear blues skies for our 4 days there, but the weather has been a bit wet in the north of France, but at least not as bad as Wales and England have endured of the past few days.

Baked Beans again

2009-11-06T01:07:00.003+01:00

Yep, I know I shouldn't have done it again, but I can't resist those little suckers....baked beans...yummmy..reminds me of being a kid. This time though I didn't mix it with sausages..instead I had a can of coke! Stupid stupid me....can you guess how many times I went to the bathroom...well...more that I could be bothered counting! All that gas was going to have to get out someway!!! oh and have a mentioned that I love brussel sprouts..a big no no also for UC'ers

The only good thing was that I lost 2 kgs over night...was wondering how to shift it without the hassles of going to a gym...so really in a way baked beans were good. See how I turned a negative into a positive :D

OK..no more baked beans for another month or so....and only a sip of coke on a Friday night as a treat...jez , what am I reduced to :D

Disappointment

2009-10-28T23:13:00.007+01:00

I decided that when I started writing this blog, that I'd have to be honest with everything I wrote...no matter what...

I'm seriously thinking about re-starting to steroids even though I know the relaxation and de-stressing controls are easing my UC.

But with so much coming up and the thoughts of having to do a 30 hr flight back to Oz in Feb, I can't risk still having this damn flare-up.

I'm sorry to be so gross here, but I'm sure you have all had a little look down the loo to see what came out, but I know my colon is still seriously inflamed and from what I can tell, when there is a semi normal bowel movement, well, the poo is only about 1/2 the circumference it should be!

Now this flare-up has been going since last June and although I've come along way since the end of August, I seriously think it's time to knock this on the head with a bit of help from the steroids.

I'm slightly pissed off with myself for even considering this, but I need to get myself into remission now. I go back to see the French doc on 17th Nov and that is when I make my decision. But basically, if I'm still passing blood on that date, then it's time to accept that steroids are needed. To be honest the doc has been pushing me to go back on them since the start of Sept, but I've been saying no. Funny that, since I was the one begging him, with no success, back in July and he kept saying no. France doesn't believe in handing out steroids straight away..they like to try enemas....and they aren't cheap!..plus for me they really don't work...but I played along as he had me over a barrel.

I also have other reason to go back on those things....
1 - I'm going on my first trip to Paris at the start of Dec and the last thing I want to be doing is toilet hunting. I want to have fun and remember it for all the right reason! Plus I want the kids and my husband to have fun. We're doing Disneyland Paris also....and I really don't want to spoil there memory of that

2- Christmas is coming and it's the kids first cold Christmas and New Year. Again, it's memory based and I don't want UC spoiling it for them and me.

3 - I really can't be arsed with with anymore!

So, that why I'm thinking about. I'm also slightly worried about the current state of my insides as with over 5 months of a flare-up, those little ulcers must have caused some damage inside by now!

And yep, that's some negative thinking going on there..and a nice little looping pattern has formed....but I've set the D-Day date or in my case to S-Day date (S= Steroid) and we'll see what happens....

I'm still trying all my other stuff though and I'm not giving up there...but I think I need a helping hand now.

Chewing gum and smoking

2009-10-23T21:19:00.007+02:00

I used to love chewing gum before I got Ulcerative Colitis. I used to chew loads at work, just to stop me going to the snack machine and getting god knows how much chocolate or crisps out each day.

Six months before I first got UC, I used to just chew all day long. Thinking back, I wonder if this is what caused my UC to start. I recently read that stated that chewing gum can cause irritation to the stomach and intestinal walls which can can cause ulcers. Who knows..maybe gum was my trigger!

.... and finally to smoking ... Did any of you used to smoke and gave it up? Did you ever wonder if this may of have contributed to your UC? I gave up 9 years ago, just before we started trying for a baby. I don't regret giving up for one moment...just thinking about the cash I save now alone was worth it...but I do have to wonder that if I still smoked, would I have UC now?

So while doing a quick goggle search today on UC and chewing gum, I came across the following link...interesting reading, but I'm not sure if I want to put nicotine via nicotine gum into my system. Take a read...

http://www.springerlink.com/content/p250182vq504p08l/

I can't help but think that cigarettes and gum where my down fall. So why am I writing about this now...well I started chewing gum again...and a got a pain in my gut after about 15 mins...so I think it's time to stop again.

How does he know?

2009-10-18T17:57:00.003+02:00

This is inspired by Rich's blog the other day, in the funny things that children say. My youngest is 7 and they both knew what I have..although saying that I think I better ask them exactly what disease they think I have. Well you never know what they might come up with. I also realise that primary kids, especially the lower years, just love to share all sorts of information at school with the teacher and I'm sure we've had a few family secrets / embarrassing moments shared already....but heck worse things can happen :D

So anyway, a few weeks ago my Dad was over visiting and we headed out in the car for a day trip. At the top of the village my 7 year old boy screamed ... and yes I really do mean screamed as it was right beside my ear..."There's a Virgin!!"......silence in the car...... What the....!! How does he knew she's a virgin ... emmm, what does he think is a virgin...more embarrassing silence ... then ding the light went on...he's seen a statue on the wall of the Virgin Mary....there's loads of them everywhere over here....ddddooohhhh.....!

I wonder what he'll come out with next....

I did check to see what they thought I had....both said they couldn't remember the name of it, but it and it meant I spent a lot of time in the loo and we always had to know where the nearest toilet was if we were out and about....ah well, that's not too bad!

Living with the bitch from hell....ME apparently!

2009-10-18T17:54:00.003+02:00

Last night I was delivered a reality check of what I was like to live with last year and let me tell you that it's not very nice having to listen to all your faults being laid out like that.

After I was finally diagnosed with UC and started in the steroids I thought my life was going to just return to normal....how wrong was I. At first the steroids put me on this kind of high and I had heaps of energy, but as the dosage was reduced, so was my mood and energy.

Looking back now, I realise that I basically just decided to cut myself off from everyone and anyone. All I could basically do was get the kids to school, go to work, get back home and have as little contact with people as possible during the day. This is seriously not me and for anyone that knows me, well, they thought I was just being a total bitch.

How do you explain to people you have no energy to even talk to them. Yes they knew I had an illness, but really..unless you have this yourself you have no idea what this feels like, especially when your energy is depleted. So I withdrew from society from about 4 weeks into the steriods for about 6 weeks all up. The funny thing was that it was a major storm in our area that pulled me out of this black hole. Yep, now bear me with as this is weird, but the charge and severity of the storm seemed to re-energise me overnight and I was back again and out of my rut. I always try to help people, which is why before the storm people thought I was being a right bitch and ignoring them, but really I was just trying to protect myself.

One lady in particular did approach me about how I was acting at the time of my withdrawal and at the time I was so mad at her, but later and I go back and explain how I was feeling and how I needed to protect myself until I felt better. I don't know if she really understood what I was saying, but we're still very good friends. I do always want to help, but sometimes it's better to protect ourselves first.

Anyway, when my husband brought all that old stuff up last night I realised how far I'd come. He's reading Guy's book and has noticed several traits that I have or had that are mentioned in the book. In a way it's helping him see why I am the way I am...and hopefully not a bitch all the time :D ... I do love my family and it would break my heart to intentionally hurt them. The one thing my husband has mentioned plenty of times before is that my family's moods all rotate around mine..if I'm happy...the family is happy. I better try and keep it that way.

So next time you think someone is ignoring you...cut them a little slack...they may just need to withdraw for a while for a little intermission...once sorted then normal programming can resume.

yep, I'm still here

2009-10-17T11:05:00.004+02:00

It's strange..I really have had nothing to blog about recently...and then it hit me...I've been leading a pretty normal life for the past 2 weeks! Flippin heck...how'd that happen?

Of course I've had a few evening where me and the toilet were best friends...but that was all self imposed by me...see I know I should have had that darn pizza or that tin of coke...but when the craving gets me..I have to give in....well it's not as if I can't hear Corrie or Emmerdale Farm from the bathroom if I get my husband or the kids to turn the TV up a bit while I make each mad dash :D

This week I discovered with a little variation to the rewind technique that I could make it work. I had no success at all with the cinema screen thing..but I had watched a TV program with Paul McKenna a month or so back and he talked about making the screen smaller and smaller and smaller until it disappeared. So I do the first bit with the thumb pinching and the visualisation of confidence, curiosity and humorous and then picture the thing that annoys me and make it disappear...yep..I know that sounds weird to anyone who has no idea what I'm talking about, but for those that do..it really did work for me...I was gobsmacked. So what lead me to try this...well this week I was surfing my contacts on Linked In as I came across a name who used to work for me years back and made my life hell. Sorry, did I say work for me....stupid me...she never produced a decent piece of work and her only objective was to try and wind the rest of the team up. Personality clash is a mild statement..she hated me with a passion as I got the job she had also applied for and I was an external candidate.

Anyway, I had to put up with her for 2 long years until I eventually went on maternity leave. She was there when I came back, but luckily for me, so was 6mths pregnant when I came back so I only has to put up with her for a further 2 months. She really was a bitch from hell and I later heard when she went to a new company that someone took her to court over her behaviour and her then employee made her redundant due to the way she treated colleagues.

Anyway, I found her on linked in and was reading her summary CV, which basically was a bunch of lies as she claimed she was a PM way back when she worked for me.....mmm..not exactly true to say the least...not even close..she wasn't even a team leader, let alone a manager.

So I was letting this memory or her wind me up and I thought..lets try this one out on the rewind technique and see if I can get rid of her once and for all. I knew I had no success with the cinema visualisation and I remembered Paul McKenna's shrinking technique, so that evening before bed, I found a nice quite space and started the process. When I got up the next morning the hatred I had for that girl seemed to be gone...surprised...you bet I was...

So what now, well I don't want to go to mad and zap everything straight away just in case like the genie in the bottle, I only get 3 wishes...so I'm waiting to see what effects my UC next. I'll let you know if I have any further successes. This is kind off a really big thing for me. I knew it worked for others, but I'm not sure if I totally believed it would work for me. Thanks Guy :D

Bucket List

2009-10-05T13:21:00.006+02:00

I watched The Bucket List for the very first time last night. God that's a good movie..makes you realise just how lucky you are. I love movies with Morgan Freeman or Jack Nicholson.

Jack Nicholson still freaks me out though when I watch The Shining. The first time I watched that I had no idea what the film was about and I was alone my self in the house upstairs in bed..thank god they didn't have big screen TVs in those days...I was frightened enough watching a tiny 12 inch portable...it's those eyes of his...they're freaky!!!

Anyway, the best line in the The Bucket List movie for me was "Never trust a fart". Oh how true for us!!

Bum..what a great word

2009-10-01T19:27:00.010+02:00

Bum- The fleshy part of the human body that you sit on
Synonyms - arse, buttocks, nates, bottom, butt, backside, buns, can, fundament, hindquarters, hind end, keister, posterior, prat, rear, rear end, rump, stern, seat, tail, tail end, tooshie, tush, behind, derriere, fanny, ass

Bet you didn't know there was so many words for the thing that makes our life a little bit different from other.

People really don't like to talk about their bums. The only acceptable conversation is "Does my bum look big in this??" I often wonder if conversations about colitis will eventually become like conversations about Cancer now..in that people will now speak about Cancer openly, as more and more types are becoming curable. It's not such a dreaded thing and not all cancers will kill you, so many have a great chance with the medicines available now.

So why can't we talk about our bums now? The way I see it, it's because we are simply embarrassed about them and their function. Are we ever going to get over this fact....I do wonder.

But to finish on a lighter note....here's a bum joke...

Bottom Deodorant - The blonde walks into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for some bottom deodorant. The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman that they don't sell bottom deodorant, and never have. Unfazed, the blonde assures the pharmacist that she has been buying the stuff from this store on a regular basis, and would like some more. "I'm sorry," says the pharmacist, "we don't have any.""But I always get it here," says the blonde."Do you have the container it comes in?""Yes!" said the blonde, "I will go and get it."She returns with the container and hands it to the chemist who looks at it and says to her, "This is just a normal stick of underarm deodorant."The annoyed blonde snatches the container back and reads out loud from the container, "To apply, push up bottom."

Who cringed when they read that punch line? Ahh, a few years ago I would never have guessed what I would have had to go through....

One of those days

2009-09-29T19:41:00.004+02:00

Did you ever have one of those days, when everyone seems to want to have a go at your for just about anything? Well, today is one of those days for me. I've checked my forehead and it doesn't say "Have a go at me today". It couldn't anyway, as there isn't enough room to write all that anyway...but it was worth checking for just in case :D

Maybe it's just me today...wrong place / wrong time, but I think the French can be pretty aggressive when things do not go their way. Okay, I admit it, I can let a little aggressive to, but boy am I learning to turn the other cheek and walk away. What's the point in verbals here anyway? I really don't know enough French to get into it with them. I've started to notice that I kind of switch off.

I seem to be doing that a lot lately. I was driving by myself the other day and lost about 3kms of my journey. That kind of scared me though, especially when I thought about how I'd gotten onto that stretch of the motorway.

A funnier side I have also recently noticed, especially when I'm in the check-out queue at a supermarket, it that I have adopted a little light music in my head from an old kids TV show that I grew up with in the UK...a theme tune from Vision On with Tony Hart when they showed all the art the kids sent in. I always wanted to send something in but it was just one of those things I never got round to doing. He did some brilliant artwork..ahhh..those where the days...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Om2HbDzZOWA - Link to Vision On theme tune from back in the late 1970's :D

Baked Beans

2009-09-27T22:39:00.001+02:00

You'd think I'd really know better than to eat baked beans while having a little flare-up!

But heck, that's what I found myself doing today. I really couldn't help it, (well I could if I'd tried), but I was cooking Richmond sausages and the smell, well the smell just got me and I went mad and through in the lot for good old-fashioned 'fry-up'.... sausages, bacon, eggs, good old baked beans and toast.

Of course I'm suffering now...but was it really was worth it....hopefully everything will have calmed down by tomorrow :D

One for the girls

2009-09-25T19:00:00.005+02:00

GIRLS ONLY - OK..I have a theory I need to share...does anyone think that their UC gets any worse during their period?

I think mine does, but I've only just stumbled across this as I was on the road to a more positive place and bang..now I feel that I have taken several large steps backwards.

So if this is the case, then surely there's a link to changes in my levels of the hormones estrogen and progesterone. I don't really want to go on the pill for various reasons, but I do think that it's interesting that I've noticed a change. I also know for a fact that my mood levels also change during this time.

So lets see what next week brings. I seriously need to get myself back into remission though as this has just been dragging on for far too many months now. I am grateful though that I've made a huge heap of progress in the last 4 weeks though. These monthly glitches will just have to be dealt with. And if any males have read this...just be happy this is one less thing that you have to deal with :D along with your UC!

Doctor Issues

2009-09-23T15:04:00.002+02:00

I'm really struggling with doctors at the moment and how they treat us. My biggest issue is that I really don't have any faith or trust in what is being prescribed. The French doctor that I'm dealing with had just given me a prescription for a maintenance drug and if I do what he says, then I'll be taking an extra 1000mg a day of the drug than what I have previously taken...that's a 50% increase in meds. Firstly I'm concerned that he didn't ask me what does level I was on now and secondly, he's not even checking me anymore. These doctors are just prescribing willy nilly. Is it any wonder people aren't getting any better and are becoming more and more dependant on drugs.

So no I'm not going to take his recommended dose. I'm going to stay on what I'm on the level I'm at now. I've got 4 more months before I can get back to Oz and get all the drugs and advise I need to get me through a further year here. Though if I can get some benefit from the rewind technique, then I might now have to bother with this French doctor anymore anyway....problem solved.

The things that scares me the most is that doctors are supposed to be smart people, but recently I'm seriously having to question their actions.

Apart from that, I'm still going well in the positive direction. I'm having a little issue with the rewind technique as I'm stuck at trying to find the 3 things that you need to think about before you get started. That's a bit of a bugger as it made me realise what a shit of a life I have been leading. I know I have good things going all around me, but it's a bit of a blow to realise where you have ended up with this UC disease...but it could be worse.........

To change..or not to change...that is the question

2009-09-21T15:42:00.005+02:00

My Dad has just arrived from the UK for a visit and one of the things he brought me was a mag. Here's something I found in the good health section regarding stress. So although it says you can't change your fate, you can change the way you handle it.

What are 3 positive things about this problem?
What's not yet the way you want it
What are you willing to do to get the results you want?
What re you willing to stop doing to get the result you want?
How can you motivate yourself and even take pleasure in doing what needs to be done to get the result you want?
What's something you can do today to get things moving in the right direction?

So I started things about my UC and could only come up with #1 - kind of positive thing and that was that it keeps my weight down. #2 - bugger..loads of things. So onto #3 and #4 - I'd do what ever it takes. #5 - I'll have to wait and see what I have to do first. #6 - think about what I'm stuffing in my mouth..bugger there goes the sweet stuff and beer...but to be honest I'd already decided no beer, wine or bubbles anyway for a few months.

Oh, and my books arrived today..so I'll start reading tonight..although I still have to finish the 3rd book of the Twilight series...who will Bella choose (as if I didn't know!!)..but don't tell me anyway :D

Oh it's a funny old world

2009-09-18T10:33:00.007+02:00

First up, I want to say that I know it's hard to for people to believe that other people can cure themselves by working with the mind. It's just one of those things..you either believe or you don't and for those that don't / can't believe in this that's fine. Everyone is different. But what I do mind is the ones that don't or can't believe in this, telling me that it's utter crap. Don't tell me what I can and can't believe in!!! It's my choice!!! - in case you're wondering what that was all about...go check out Martin at Number Two's blog..the one with heaps of comments.

Now that I've got that off my chest, here's where I am with my UC today.

Had a bit of bright red blood last night, but only 1 bowel movement again throughout the whole day. Of course I was a bit pissed off to see the blood again, but a couple of things had annoyed me this week and I hadn't dealt with them. I also made a stupid mistake and changed my maintenance drug to prove a point to my doctor. Luckily I'm hoping that my stupidity hasn't set me back a week or two as I still have made a heap of progress with just mentally dealing with my issues over being scared and stressed. What ever happens, I've gotten where I've gotten to without use of steroids yet and that for me is a huge deal.

I'm back to my French Doc next week for another consultation...actually it can't be a consultation as neither of us have a huge understanding of each other’s language, so it's not as if we can "parle" very much. His english is better than my french though but I've learnt some interesting French medical words :D

Good old Babelfish will have to be used to again as my first venture with it to the Doctors was pretty successful :)

I think I'm also going to tell him (via babel on yellow sticky notes) about what else I have been trying. The funny thing is that when I first went to see him way back in July when I was basically house bound, that I thought the stress of leaving home, moving here and the whole language thing was really stressed me out and possibly brought on the UC. I'd forgotten about that until today, as at the time that he agreed. France doesn't like to give out steroids willy nilly for some reason. I've no idea what the UK is like, as I got UC in Australia, but over there they also just give out the steroid willy nilly once you’re diagnosed.

I've also just come to the realisation, that maybe I'm not supposed to have the drugs as there is another way for me...(don't have a go at me if you disagree...all I'm saying is this works for me right now as I'm in a different head space from you...I'm able to trust in stuff where others are sceptics). Seriously though...think about it...I'm thousands of miles away from home and the doctors I trust and that helped me last year...I've had a flare up...and the French medical system does things differently...what choice do I have?

Last year, it took over 10 visits to the doctors and countless blood tests over a 3 week period for me start with one doctor get nowhere as he didn't believe I was sick as I looked ok, to then finally find a doctor that would listening to me and get me the urgent help I needed that Friday evening. She was brilliant, and although she couldn't get a hold of a specialist while I sat in her office that Friday night crying...god, the memory of that time still makes me cry...she knew I was in big trouble and advised me to go the hospital if it got any worse over the weekend. She made an appointment for me first thing Monday morning and told me it was going to be ok..I wasn't the first to get this and unfortunately I wouldn't be the last. She gave me something to cling onto for Monday morning ...hope... oh and 100ml enema to put in, to get me through to Monday morning. Looking back now, I have no idea how I got through that Friday...I really should have been in hospital, but with the aid of the enema...I finally got a full 8 hours sleep and woke up on the Saturday morning feeling a slight bit better. Was it the enema, was it the fact I got 8 hrs sleep or was it the hope that I was going to get somewhere with this on Monday? Who knows but that weekend I turned a corner. At the time, I really didn't realise how bad I was with this disease...I was kidding myself big time.

I went down to the doctors at 7.45am..actually are you wondering how I managed to get myself to the doctors when basically I was house bound for the last 2 weeks? Easy..I didn't eat or drink a thing until I'd done what I had to do...I figured that one out very quickly.... So down to the doctors where she had already spoken to the specialist. She had also set up a quick phone call appointment for me with the specialist at 11am that day and a further urgent appointment for the Wednesday. That was the quickest I could get in..normally you're on a 3 week wait list and that's in the private sector in Australia.

Long story short, I talked to the specialist that morning, got an immediate connection with her over the phone..she's Irish like me living in Oz..and I trusted her to make me better. I don't think I've mentioned this yet, but basically when I was really ill I was having to go to the toilet anywhere from 15 to 30 times each day. Wednesday came around and my husband came with me to see the specialist as he really needed to know what was going on too. Basically she told me I was a very sick person...(my brain is still going...no I'm not that sick..I'm ok) and then the shocker...my organs were going to start shutting down due to the huge weight loss...9kgs in 7 days...and I wasn't big to begin with as I'd been doing some serious gym training for the past 3 years. She reckoned I had less than a week if I'd carried on the way I was, before the organs would have started to shut down. A scary thought. That's when I finally admitted to myself that I was really sick and in big trouble. Of course a colonoscopy was needed...yep..don't want to do that neither..scares me...but hell, I need to know what is wrong with me, but I'm being stupid...so time to get over this fear..face it and move on. Fast forward to colonoscopy day...scared silly...cried all the way to the hospital and cried while they put me under................woke up 30 mins late and first words out of my mouth..."Do I have Cancer..am I going to die?...I think I came around a bit quicker than they expected as my specialist came over straight away and said...nope to Cancer... I hadn't realised that was what I was really thinking was wrong with me! Once she calmed me down she said that she's come and talk to me in about 30mins and we could discuss the UC and how to treat it going forward. Do you know what it feels like to have a huge weight lifted off your shoulders...I was over joyed..no Cancer..it's only UC. I'm alive. The thing is...at the time I was happy that I only had UC...little did I know that I would get so depressed with the medicines I had to take each day. Even when it went into remission and I was just on the maintenance drug I still didn't feel right. It ranged from downright anger at everyone, to locking myself away from the world as I was depressed, although at the time I didn't think I was depressed so I didn't seek help. It took a very good friend of mine to come round to my house and ask me what was going on...(I'm crying again as I type this)..for me to realise this all I had to stop..I need to take control and pull myself together as all I'm doing right now, is pushing the people I love away from me by my own actions.

Back then I didn't realise that I was sabotaging myself...which brings me back to the beginning of this blog. I want to be happy and positive and enjoy my life. I don't want to be a negative person who only ever knocks people and won't at least try something new as they knew it just won't work. No I don't want to be hurt and let down if I fail, but at least I tried. It didn't cost me a cent (penny) to try Guy's stuff as it was all free on the web...and it's my choice to buy his book as I want to see what he says...as I have had a bit of success so far by simply changing my attitude and stopping being scared and stressed all the time. To some, this is hocus pocus...but what if this really is going to be the thing that helps me live a normal life. I'd be pretty damn stupid to pass something up like that without first trying it out. Like I said...this has cost me little to nothing..people spend more on coffee or cigarettes.

Anyway, have a great day..and give someone a break if they don't quite agree with you....I'm all up for constructive agruments...but not putting people down just because they think differently from you...

A bit of surprise

2009-09-16T15:02:00.005+02:00

I really only want to document a significant change to my UC today...basically and in a nut shell ... no flubbering (or raspberry) noises from my bottom this morning on my first visit to the loo. I'm gob smacked. Still no idea if there is blood or not...but I'm not forcing anything just so that I can know. That also means that I haven't had to do a toilet stop as off now for over 8 hrs...how nearly normal is that? I'd quite forgotten after 4 months how being able to live this close to normal felt like...oh I wonder if I could risk a trip to a cafe or even a restaurant for a meal out!!!

Things have changed and I've been thinking it could be related to any one of these items..or even all of them.

Change of enema and now on a foam. Lighter dose than original enema, but I felt that the problem was only at the base of the rectum anyway.
Youngest is far happier at school this year. Last year was awful for him and probably added to my stress
Happier to be living in France now...I'm definitely no longer fighting it, I've accepted and the the next stage could even lead to enjoyment.
Started taking a more positive approach to life
Started a bit of self taught (from the web) meditation and deep breathing (I'll give anything a go and if free...all the better)
Started talking openly again with with husband and kids about this illness and how I might be sabotaging myself. Kids possibly too young to understand everything, but I'd rather they know stuff now.

As well as that other good things have happened..I found a material shop, a wool shop (love knitting), got the kids sorted with winter coats, started Christmas shopping (on the Internet) and finally got a new mobile ordered. All of these things have lead to me feeling less stressed.

Long may it continue...I'll keep you posted.

A huge positive change

2009-09-15T12:20:00.012+02:00

Well, well, well a week ago I was in a really bad place mind wise with this bloody Ulcerative Colitis. Then suddenly (and seriously, out of no where) I came across blogs from other people with UC and all the answers are there for me...the non medical ones that is. I'm talking about all the ones with UC that are trying a different type of technique to make themselves better...the positive thinkers.

I was talking to my friend in Oz the previous week over Skye and she knows all about my belief and talents to do with spirits. Anyway, to cut a long story short I told her that I had no signs lately and I was getting really pissed off with my UC as it had totally stuffed up the whole of our first summer in France and seriously I just wanted it gone. I also have started to recognise that the issues with my Mother really do need to get sorted soon. For the past couple of weeks there had been loads of butterflies around me and I asked her what that was a sign of, well turns out butterflies are a symbol of a new life bit something that I also did not know until recently was as the Dalia Lama explains of a butterfly that rather than carefree, it is uncaring: "The butterfly never meets its mother. It must survive independently and remains a stranger to affection. An animal nurtured by mother's milk, however, is dependent on another for its basic survival. A child who grows up in a cold and detached home environment is similar to the butterfly, in that kindness is sparing. Once an adult, it will be very difficult for that person to show compassion."

So I've thought about this and this could be very true of me in that I really did not until say in the last few years have compassion for any of my family members. However I have also had heaps of compassion for my own kids now as this was something I missed out on and made a real effort to show them how much I love and care for them. I did however have guilt issues about leaving them in childcare while I had to work.

I'm also now of the belief that I am the one who is sabotaging myself through my negative thoughts and fears. Why else would I get UC when no-one in my family has ever had it? So last week for what ever reason I found myself goggling "blogs ulcerative colitis" and the first one I saw was Martin's Number Two's who then lead me to Rich of The Mercy Seat then onto A Skinny Girl's Rant and Intestine Goddess...excellent blogs all about people in the same circumstances as me.

It's been life changing to say the least. We left Australia for a 2 year life in France 6 months ago and I have been in a really negative place since then. My UC flared up 2 days before we got on the plane and I couldn't get an appointment with my doctor at home before we had to fly. She had however given me a supply of steroids and after 2 weeks here I started them. They worked initially but once the course was tapered down and finished then the blood came back and hence my crappy summer stuck at home for most of the time. My French is crap still and although I eventually got to a doctor, he didn't understand what I wanted, which of course stressed me out more and more, but finally a break though last week and I get a foam based medicine which is what I think I need and hey presto, before you know it life is looking out and me and my toilet are no longer joined at the bottom!

Today I have little blood, I haven't had to do that mad dash to the toilets for a few days now and I'm feeling a lot more happier. Life is definitely on the up :D

Skinny Girl posted a comment today which made me think about my situation - "It is my personal belief that the reason I have UC (and others don't) is because it was something I could handle--something I am strong enough to deal with when others may not have been able to." I'd never thought of it that way before..but how right she is. I hope to be able to help people through this crappy disease but I do intend to get rid of it and not just keep it at bay.

I'll keep you posted on my own progress...I'm still looking for someone who is a Reiki Master or practises hypnotism near Aix-en-Pce, France. If anyone know someone, please let me know.

My UC Symptons

2009-09-13T13:56:00.029+02:00

So I've been thinking that I'm going to try and document my UC symptoms and any other illness or stressful times that I've had going back over day the last 10 years...I'm going to work in reverse and see what I can actually remember and add to it .

2009

13th Sept - still a bit of bleeding no real pain, just the odd cramp in both my left and right sides that will go away if I lie down for a while. They seem to come and go. Started thinking about why this is happening and why the meds aren't working. Conclusion is that I have caused this myself by my mind and my negative thoughts. Going to try new things and see what happens next. Had a little win with the doctors and I'm going to try a foam for 2 weeks. After that I'm asking for steroids (via babel fish)
Aug - Still on the enema. It takes forever to even make a difference and 4 weeks into it there is still blood. I'm frustrated with the doctor and my husband suggests that I should lie about the pain just to get the steroids. I don't like the idea of doing that so decide against. I'm not big into lying, honesty is the best policy. Take a trip to Spain, it's an 11 hr drive. No accidents on the way. Resort was pretty crap as it was a lot dirtier than I thought it would be and the accom was also a shocker. We did meet a great family though and the kids had fun. I didn't feel stressed but I was pissed off about the resort and accom.
July - Holy crap, lots of blood. I'm totally stressed out with France and having no doctors that I can turn to for help. My husband gets me sorted with a specialist but he speaks little to no English so I have an immediate problem. He won't give me steroids as they are a last resort here in France, so I'm on a flipping enema. Have a major accident while I'm out. After getting over my total shame and embarrassment and explaining what has just happened, one of my husband colleagues that we're friendly with, takes me to her house and I phone him to go get my change of clothes from the car. Mortified doesn't sum it up, but I don't ruin the kids night out and instead once changed I head back to where we are supposed to be. (N.B. There isn't a lot of public toilets in France when you’re on a walk about in the town and given that I only got 30 secs notice I was buggered anyway)
Jun - Tapering down on the steroids and by mid June the start of UC is back. Still stressed and finding life very hard in France. Trip back to NI to see family and friends. Decide not to see my Mother as it would be too negative on me right now and I still don't know how to deal with those issues yet.
May - Steroids seem to work, no blood, very stressed still as my French is crap and trying to live here is a bit of a nightmare for me. I don't feel safe. My youngest is not happy at school...confidence issues etc so he's stressed and that stresses me. Furniture arrives and we move into house. I don't feel happy and I'm definitely not relaxed. I'm happy to see my furniture though.
Apr - Left for France. Not excited but very scared. Lots of blood and after 2 weeks with it only getting worse I start using my supply of steroids. They take 3 weeks to work during which I'm totally stressed in France with the accom we're in, trying to buy a car, sort out insurance and get the kids ready to start school. Feel that I'm totally out of my depth here.
Mar - Final most painful stage at the dentist. End result brilliant...better than I could ever have hoped for. Handed in my notice and finished up work. Very sad to leave work and cried all the way home. Very very sad to pack up my house and finish off school. I wasn't so much as stressed this month, but I was very very sad about everything was leaving behind. Last week of March and UC starts with a little drop of red blood on the toilet paper.
Feb - Husband leaves7 weeks before us, so it's just me and the kids. I feel stressed as I'm working, looking after the kids, doing all the house work, going to the dentist and trying to get the house sorted out for moving. Handed in notice to work. Boss sad, but he understands and I'm not leaving to go to a competitor. No UC symptoms.
Jan - A fairly good month. No UC symptoms. Had fun with the kids over the summer holidays. Started my dentist treatment to fix my teeth which will take approx 6-8 weeks to complete. Had lots of help from friends. This month I feel I'm stressed with going to the dentist and waiting to hear if my husband got the job and what the offer will be. Went back to work with a heavy heart. I do love my work and I get paid really well...more than I worth I sometimes think, but I feel it's getting on top of me.

2008

Dec - I ask my boss if I can take 5 weeks off work during the kid’s school holiday and he agrees with no problem. I don't think I felt stressful this month, but there is a build up in anticipation of moving to France. Christmas was really good this year which is rare for me as I actually I'm not very good at this time of year (even though I love it) as my Mother left us 2 weeks before Christmas when I was 16. Made a huge decision to go to the Dentist as I hate my teeth and I want them fixed now once and for all. Price is cheaper than I thought, so I happy with that. I'm scared of dentists though so this is a huge step for me.
Nov - Huge storm rips through our suburb and causes millions of dollars worth of damage. Our house escapes with minimal damage. We are all initially OK, but later on I start to realise how lucky we were and I start to stress myself out again. I have a lot to be grateful for, but for some reason I start to feel out of control again. My husband phones me at work and asks if we want to move back to the Northern Hemisphere for a couple of years as he has just been approached with a job offer. I say Yes, I want out of here.
Oct - Felt very sad at the end of month and very lonely. Off the steroids and just on Salazopyrin now. Still getting headaches. (N.B. Looking back now I wonder if there is a connection with coming off the steroids. The steroids made me feel very happy until I was taking say 30mg a day)
Sept - Tapering off the steroids and just on Salazopyrin now. Getting headaches.
Aug - Steroids being tapered down and start maintenance drug Salazopyrin
Jul - Diagnosed with UC. Lost 7kgs in 9 days. Did a colonoscopy and started steroids 50mg per day.
Jun - mmm - this was the start of a very bad time. I had my first coffee in months and that appears to have been the trigger for what happened next. Bad diarrhoea, blood and a feeling of not being very well at all.
May - Get shingles, but I'm very lucky and got to the doctors with the first 24 hrs and got tablets to counteract the pain. No time of work, but a pain where there was a burning sensation.
Apr - Again a fairly normal month for me and I got the flu injection this year.
Mar - Work fine not too stressful. Kids and husband all ok. No medical issues.
Feb - Bad diarrhoea - Last about a week. It scares me as there is a little bit of blood and we're about to go to Canada for 2 weeks skiing the following week. Go to the doctors and get nothing from him. After seeing a little bit of blood, I decide to use the suppositories again. Take Imodium to save any hassles on the plane. Have a great holiday even with the kids and my husband getting sick. Getting back though I notice a huge loss of weight (4kgs in 2 weeks). This I put down to skiing all day and the initial diarrhoea.
Jan - Nothing significant that I can remember, but looking forward to holidays. Work projects good and although behind this doesn't worry me as I have containment plans in place.

2007

Dec - Usually state of mind for Christmas.
Nov - Blood appears again. I went straight to the doctors and got a supply of suppositories. Take 1 at night for 7 nights. Blood clears up within a week.
Oct - Nothing of significance I can remember
Sept - Nothing of significance I can remember
Aug - Still loads of blood, but no pain. Then the blood just stops the week before I'm due to have the operation. I had went to the doctors and gotten some meds. I assume they helped. I still have a very bad cold and when I go for my colonoscopy they won't put me under as they are worried about my cough. Instead I'm asked if I want to give it a go without going under as I've done all the prep work. Scared silly but agree. I only last for the first 50 cms before I ask her to get the scope out.
Jul - Celebrate my 40th birthday and go the doctors as I'm scared now and it's not going away. He talks me into colonoscopy. Even more scared.
Jun - More and more blood appears. Start of diarrhoea. I start to get stress and think I have cancer. Still don't go to the doctors though.
May - The first glimpses of blood on the toilet roll. I didn't think there was anything to worry about.

Significant events prior to May 2007

2006 - Changed jobs after working from home for 3 years. Very happy with the money, but sad that I have to return to an office
2002 - 2nd child born - back to full-time work after 7 months off
2001 - Sold one house and bought a new one...found out I was pregnant again...dead happy
2000 - Birth of #1 - scared, tired, but very happy - Asthma goes after birth of first child - back to full-time work after 8 months off
1999 - Moved to a new state in Oz
1998 - Nothing significant
1997 - Immigrated to OZ

Diagnosed with asthma as a kid...mine was termed as "Nervous Asthma" ... asthma used to come on when I was stressed or freaked out...especially when I was stuck up on a stage to do Irish dancing as a kid..and although I loved going to learn on a Saturday morning, I hated the festivals and was crap at dancing :)

I have wondered if the nervous asthma was connected with UC, but they don't seem to be able to find a link...I think it's nerves and stress...but hey, how do I prove that. Anyone got any thoughts on that connection?

Farting

2009-09-12T13:05:00.001+02:00

yes, I know it's not very lady like to talk about farts, but a funny thing happened this morning..I actually farted in bed. My husband turned and said to me.."Oh that was a bit dangerous" to which I replied "I getting quite good at it now, I've been practising"..he laughed.

For any of you with UC, you know that when your in the middle of a flare up, you don't just let one go in bed unless your pretty confident nothing is going to happen. I have to say that is the first time I have farted in bed in over 3 months and I'm pretty damn proud of myself. I did get up and go to the toilet anyway, just in case that was my 30 seconds notice :)

So this is me

2009-09-11T16:17:00.000+02:00

2 years ago when my Ulcerative Colitis first started I was unable to find anything on the interent and I lived in denial for a year until I was diagnosed .

So I’m not going accept that I have to live with this forever and it is going to go away...I know it is now...between a couple of blogs I have been reading in the last 4 days, I now have more answers in the last week than I’ve gotten in the last year...I’m not going to be stupid though and come off the maintenance drug right now...but I’m going to also do the positive thinking and get as much acid out of my body as possible as I really do believe that was the start of my issues. I honestly believe now that if I can control my mind to stop thinking in these negative patterns that somehow my UC will stop. I’ve listen to Guys Cohen's recording twice now...not every day... and to be honest I can see a bit of a difference already. I’m going to try and find an English speaking Reiki Master here in France and look into some yoga as I think these are the tools for me going forward now. I can’t say that I won’t be negative again as with 2 little kids and a long way from home and friends, well the world sometimes does get on top and I feel I have a huge weight to deal with. But time to get out there and enjoy my time here, 6mths have passed already in a negative state with UC keeping me house bound through most of the summer when really I should have been having fun with my kids and husband....it was those darn negative thoughts again, but I say bullocks to them..time to move forward before I really screw myself up.

Where to begin?

2009-09-11T15:55:00.000+02:00

So why have I created this blog? Well I'm starting it as I'm inspired by Martin from Number Twos, which lead to other blogs all of which have the common theme of Ulcerative Colitis!

So I really have no idea what I'm going to put up here, but I know one thing for sure, this last week has lead me on a very different path for my UC. I've had stuff running around in my head for a while now, but this week has pulled all that stuff together and I've decided that I'm getting rid of the UC and the prison like sentence it is currently subjecting me to. No more I say!! So how am I going to do this and how long will it take for me to succeed? No idea, but watch this space and see what happens.

One thing I need to tell you is that right now I'm in a mild flare-up and I'm on the big yellow pill maintenance drug called Salazoyrin. I take 4 a day..we'll at least I'm supposed to, but I have this shocking memory problem at the moment and even though I may have taken the pills like 30 secs before...I just can't remember if I really did or not. I have a plan to solve this and every time I take one I say out loud to the kids and my husband that I've taken my pills :D

This week has been a real eye opener and I've decided that it's time for my negative thoughts to get the hell out of my life. I have a feeling that me being so stressed out over issues that really should have been dealt with years ago and they are what is causing this negative thought pattern and it's time for them to leave my body building once and for all and they are to take Miss UC. Be gone, I'm done with all of you.

I'm not going to go into great details about all my issues, but basically they all stem from childhood. I need to deal with them and get rid of the negative stuff somehow.