Wednesday, September 16, 2009

A bit of surprise

I really only want to document a significant change to my UC today...basically and in a nut shell ... no flubbering (or raspberry) noises from my bottom this morning on my first visit to the loo. I'm gob smacked. Still no idea if there is blood or not...but I'm not forcing anything just so that I can know. That also means that I haven't had to do a toilet stop as off now for over 8 hrs...how nearly normal is that? I'd quite forgotten after 4 months how being able to live this close to normal felt like...oh I wonder if I could risk a trip to a cafe or even a restaurant for a meal out!!!

Things have changed and I've been thinking it could be related to any one of these items..or even all of them.
  1. Change of enema and now on a foam. Lighter dose than original enema, but I felt that the problem was only at the base of the rectum anyway.
  2. Youngest is far happier at school this year. Last year was awful for him and probably added to my stress
  3. Happier to be living in France now...I'm definitely no longer fighting it, I've accepted and the the next stage could even lead to enjoyment.
  4. Started taking a more positive approach to life
  5. Started a bit of self taught (from the web) meditation and deep breathing (I'll give anything a go and if free...all the better)
  6. Started talking openly again with with husband and kids about this illness and how I might be sabotaging myself. Kids possibly too young to understand everything, but I'd rather they know stuff now.
As well as that other good things have happened..I found a material shop, a wool shop (love knitting), got the kids sorted with winter coats, started Christmas shopping (on the Internet) and finally got a new mobile ordered. All of these things have lead to me feeling less stressed.

Long may it continue...I'll keep you posted.
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2 comments:

  1. Skinny GirlSeptember 17, 2009 at 1:18 AM

    Sounds like you are on the road to recovery! Good for you for being positive and working on stress relief. Moving to France was probably really stressful, especially making the adjustment with children. But now that you are on this new adventure, I hope you enjoy it!

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  2. PaulaSeptember 17, 2009 at 11:24 AM

    Hi Skinny girl...I really think I am...my head is finally in a far better space. It funny..my friends all think I'm living the dream, but the last 6 mths were a nightmare..in a strange land, no friends, lack of French (note to self:- learn the language in advance next time :D).

    UC scares the life out of me (literally) and then I get pissed off my myself which then leads to guilt for not being able to do stuff, then I retreat into myself (Cancerian easy to do) and wallow in my own crap...oh what a vicious circle...so who can help me fix it...only me and now I know the signs..that doesn't mean that I might end up there every now and again, but from now I should be able to see it happening sooner and stop the cycle.

    When I started reading the blogs last week it was like a light came on...and all the answers where right in front of me. I do believe in doctors and they benefit they can be, but I also now really believe that we can cause ourselves damage through stress, negative thinking and guilt. In a way I think I'm very lucky..you said it before when you said that we've been given this disease because we can handle it. I'm about to read Guy's book (as soon as it arrives)and I intend to blog about it. I've no intention to post negative blogs on it, as something that doesn't work for me may well work for someone else, but I will say what does and doesn't work over time for me. At the end of the day I'm hoping his book will give me some more insights....fingers crossed :)

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